I am currently struggling through a time of anger. I think this has been stewing and brewing for the last two years. I’ve worked hard to deflect and talk myself out of this particular emotion, because I don’t have a great method for dealing with it. No great outlet or funnel in which to push through anger and come out on the other side with productive feelings and thoughts.
No one thing has me in this place, it is the culmination of so many things that have not been felt or dealt with in the last two years…a house that will not sell because of neighbors who treat their land with such disrespect and almost contempt, working in a job that is just a job and not so fulfilling on a personal or professional level, living in a city in an apartment and feeling like “life is on hold”, being the runner up for a job of my dreams and not getting another job that was iffy anyway, having a baby with some health problem that continues to not go away, trying everything I can/am in control of to help my baby and feeling completely and utterly helpless and scared.
I hate even writing this, as it feels so whiny. Believe me, I know my life is not bad. I’ve worked so hard these last two years to remain thankful and aware of the many blessings in my life. I am so incredibly lucky to have a low rent apartment within walking distance from my work. I make enough money and my husband can supplement that income so that he can be home with our kids. I have a job. I have one kid who is healthy and happy and lovely and another kid who I still hope and pray will grow out of whatever this is. I was able to get pregnant and had an easy pregnancy. I have an amazing husband who is doing exactly what he should be doing in life: playing and teaching music. I have a wonderful family and friends who continue to support me no matter what crazy direction life takes me.
And yet, here I am, stewing. I welcome any thoughts from others who have had to work through a difficult time – how did you get through? Did you have a particular outlet or way to process? Any resources/books/stress balls that helped you on your way?