Tiny Matters

The heart of the matter

2011-02-22T08:00:00.000-07:00

I am currently struggling through a time of anger. I think this has been stewing and brewing for the last two years. I’ve worked hard to deflect and talk myself out of this particular emotion, because I don’t have a great method for dealing with it. No great outlet or funnel in which to push through anger and come out on the other side with productive feelings and thoughts.

No one thing has me in this place, it is the culmination of so many things that have not been felt or dealt with in the last two years…a house that will not sell because of neighbors who treat their land with such disrespect and almost contempt, working in a job that is just a job and not so fulfilling on a personal or professional level, living in a city in an apartment and feeling like “life is on hold”, being the runner up for a job of my dreams and not getting another job that was iffy anyway, having a baby with some health problem that continues to not go away, trying everything I can/am in control of to help my baby and feeling completely and utterly helpless and scared.

I hate even writing this, as it feels so whiny. Believe me, I know my life is not bad. I’ve worked so hard these last two years to remain thankful and aware of the many blessings in my life. I am so incredibly lucky to have a low rent apartment within walking distance from my work. I make enough money and my husband can supplement that income so that he can be home with our kids. I have a job. I have one kid who is healthy and happy and lovely and another kid who I still hope and pray will grow out of whatever this is. I was able to get pregnant and had an easy pregnancy. I have an amazing husband who is doing exactly what he should be doing in life: playing and teaching music. I have a wonderful family and friends who continue to support me no matter what crazy direction life takes me.

And yet, here I am, stewing. I welcome any thoughts from others who have had to work through a difficult time – how did you get through? Did you have a particular outlet or way to process? Any resources/books/stress balls that helped you on your way?

Gone but not forgotten

2011-02-21T12:11:00.002-07:00

Alas, this poor blog has sat gathering virtual dust and cobwebs. I have had so many things to “say” on here, and have had the time or inclination to make the pen go on the paper. Since my last post I’ve had a relatively easy pregnancy, lost my grandmom, gave birth to a beautiful little man, celebrated my 36^th year on this lovely green globe…among other things.

I’m going to attempt to play some catch-up here over the next few weeks, pending the ability to string two words or more together to make a coherent sentence. Sadly I count it as a lucky day when I’ve had more than two hours of sleep in a row since my little man has some gastrointestinal issues. If you want to read more about that and the lovely T.E.D.(total elimination diet) I’m currently on, you can go to my other blog here.

More to come!

But he has a "peanuts"...

2010-08-17T09:14:00.004-06:00

We tell stories every night when babygirl goes to bed…they typically revolve around going to the playground, or to the ice cream store (even though we’ve only done that twice!). Recently we’ve added doing these things with “George, Bill, and the Man With The Yellow Hat”.

Last night, our story took a turn that sure caught me off guard and shows how 3 year olds think. I was telling the story that mommy, daddy, and babygirl were riding our bikes to the ice cream store to meet George, Bill, and the Man With the Yellow Hat for ice cream.

Then I talked about how daddy and “the Man” went to buy the ice cream, and they bought vanilla with sprinkles for babygirl, George, and Bill (which is what they always get) and babygirl quickly interrupted me.

“No, not for bill. He has a peanuts” (what she says for um, what a boy has and a girl doesn’t).

I took a moment to switch gears mentally.

“Yes, Yes, Bill does have a … (saying the **right word)”

“Yeah, cause Bill is a boy. So he gets chocolate sauce”

“Oh, because daddy and ‘The Man With the Yellow Hat’ always have vanilla with sauce?”

“Yeah!”

Well there you go. 3 year old logic for you. I always thought Bill was a kid, therefore the vanilla with sprinkles, but goes to show mommies don’t know everything! So babygirl and George get sprinkles, all the “boys” get chocolate sauce and mommy gets her twist cone per usual. And the story continues to evolve.

(**For the record, we use the “real words” for our parts, I just don’t want to type them on my blog. I know it would lead to people finding and reading my blog that are looking for, um, other types of posts)

After a three month trial - success!

2010-07-22T17:06:00.000-06:00

I've had success on the make-your-own deodorant front. I've tried several options out there, and this one just works for me. AND it's been a helluva hot summer here in the midwest and I'm 6 months pregnant, AND walking to work most days - so I feel I've given this stuff a good trial run! I used the recipe linked and used the sensitive skin balance.

NJD - I'm going to whip up a new batch soon and will give you some to try out! I didn't forget about you...

There are certainly pros and cons for those interested, so I've tried to summarize here:
PROS

really easy to make
inexpensive compared to any other natural product I've found
I smell fabulous no matter how much I sweat - really!
I like the smell of coconut
You can save an old stick container and fill it and apply it like a regular deodorant! Although see the heat related con below.

CONS

It'll melt in heat, so in the summer it has to be in the fridge or in a tupperware and used like a cream
It isn't an antiperspirant, although I've gotten used to that fact
there's really no way for this not to smell like coconut (although to me this really isn't a con) I'm sure you could experiment with adding essential oils etc., but I didn't even bother.

So overall it's two thumbs up for me! I just can't believe this works all day long without question - I have yet to have a day where I felt the need to reapply or anything, very different from natural products I've purchased and tried before!

Now I'm excited to try making my own sunscreen:
Or try to make my own diaper rash cream:

Sweet girl

2010-07-19T08:41:00.002-06:00

This morning my sweet babygirl very unexpectedly wanted to sit in my lap after breakfast. I scooped her up, and she put her head on my growing belly and said "I love the baby". Then she gave my belly a big kiss. I told her she could talk to the baby so she waved at my belly and said "hi baby, I love you".

This was the first time she ever talked about the baby unprompted (when we weren't already talking about him) and showed such affection.

I think Jim and I melted on the spot.

Do you want your egg fried or scrambled?

2010-07-13T09:02:00.005-06:00

Do you remember this old 80s anti-drug ad?

"This is your brain. (image of an innocent looking egg)
This is your brain on drugs (image of a fried egg - see left)
Any questions?"

I think we could take this one step further and make it a 2 for 1 ad - both anti drugs AND pro-birth control. Add a third image (image of a scrambled egg) and say "This is your brain while pregnant" than the line "Any questions?". That would get those teenagers thinking, right?!?

I tell you, six months pregnant and my brain is mush. I am making stupid mistakes and not even realizing it until it is too late. The best, most concrete non-work example I can give is from babygirl's 3rd birthday party this past weekend. In true "Susan style" I started thinking about/planning for the party about two months out. I bid on train cookie cutters and cake pans on ebay and got great deals on them both. I knew I wanted to do train cookies for the kids to decorate as one of our activities. TWO MONTHS AGO. But then when it came down to it, I totally flaked on the cookies themselves. I don't know why my brain said "make sugar cookies"...but it did.

Sugar cookies. Those that do not roll, are not meant to be cut with cookie cutters (seriously sticky dough), puff up when cooked and lose their shape entirely. This seems minor, and in truth is not a big deal at all. But I just stood there in the kitchen dumbfounded. I love to bake. This is something I know how to do right and could usually do in my sleep. And instead of these cute little trains for the party I had swollen looking hippos. Seriously. It makes me laugh right now even thinking about it.... I had to throw my hands up in the air and just say "what the hell" and laugh about it. The cookies tasted great and the kids had a blast, so no harm done. Point though is this type of thing is happening daily right now, and at work as well as at home. At some point it just gets to you, you know?!?

So, I'm just saying...add a scrambled egg in that photo and you have an image that haunts teenage girls everywhere.

Hello there little man!

2010-06-18T11:46:00.004-06:00

Meet our "little man"...we had our 20 week ultrasound on Tuesday and found out we have a happy, healthy baby boy on the way!

We borrowed a great idea from a friend of a friend...instead of having the ultrasound tech tell us if we were having a boy or a girl, we instead had them mark a photo, put it in a special envelope and brought it home. Then, after babygirl's nap, we told her we had some exciting photos to share. We talked about the baby, how Ellie is going to be a big sister, and how mommy and daddy went to the doctor today and they were able to take some photos of the baby in mommy's belly! We showed her the top photo (the baby's head) the bottom photo of the baby waving (she liked that one a lot) and then the other one showing that the baby was a boy. So we all found out together as a family!

Such an exciting time for all of us! I'll do a belly post soon, I promise!

In which mankind continues to not learn its lesson....

2010-06-16T11:11:00.003-06:00

We are supposed to learn from past mistakes, supposedly this is why we fervently "learn history" in school. Glean insights, do it better the next time, etc.

Overall, I should say I respect all that medical research has provided to us. We are so lucky to have the treatments, diagnosis and options available. I highly disagree with the access and affordability of it all, but that's not what this post is about. This post is about me catching MRSA, an antibiotic resistant strain of Staph bacteria.

I am not in the medical profession, nor am I professing to "know all" about MRSA. However, I need a platform to voice my frustration on the medical "expertise" I've received and this process. Essentially, as far as I can tell, MRSA exists, because we created it. We over prescribe antibiotics, we (as patients) don't take our whole prescription and flush it into our water system, we treat animals with antibiotics and then eat their meat - ingesting the antibiotics into our systems. We perpetuate the problem of diseases and illnesses that become resistant to treatment.

I've had one doctor, a dermatologist, treat this with seriousness but not alarm. I've had midwives who have treated this seriously and with some moderate alarm. And then our pediatrician who seemed to not think this was anything to worry about. My sister had a family in her church just a year ago in Pennsylvania that was essentially given the "lockdown" from the county due to the kids having MRSA. They were told to bleach their home continuously until the situation was cleared and the kids shouldn't go out until their "rashes" had healed.

Why the varying degrees of concern and treatment, people? We still have hospitals close down entire wings to avoid the spread of this nasty bug. (Yes, I know the MRSA in hospitals is slightly different than the community spread MRSA...still nasty). I find I agree with the Pennsylvania county - don't treat this lightly. Act in ways that protect your family and community. Use antibacterial products and bleach to get the germ gone from your life. Don't assume it is gone until doctors test you and you can see it is gone. For anyone with a compromised immune system, this is serious business!

So what happens now? There is a new superbug in hospitals, called Clostridium difficile (C. diff). Supposedly this little bug is equally nasty to MRSA and also caused by antibiotic overuse. Will we learn our lesson? Will we have some other bug in five years? There has got to be a way to treat patients (and our food) responsibly and start to reverse the downward spiral we've created. Hello history...can you teach us a lesson here? Will we listen?...

The absolute best Mother's Day present ever

2010-06-11T08:38:00.004-06:00

I know this is a bit late, but it took me awhile to get this to work to scan... My husband and daughter gave me wonderful, thoughtful gifts, a breakfast in bed and a relaxing morning on Mother's Day. But the very best gift of all was the sweet card my little girl made (with daddy's guidance!). It made me cry.The first time I have ever seen her write her name:
And on the cover she drew a picture of Mommy - This was also the first time I had seen her draw a picture of anyone! Oh, and the straight mouth is not a reflection of mommy's mood :) all her people look like that!So while this might not melt your heart the same way it did mine...I wanted to save it for prosperity on this little virtual diary. My little girl is growing up!

2nd trimester, how time flies!

2010-05-18T14:47:00.001-06:00

Today I had my four month appointment with my midwives. It's amazing how quickly this pregnancy is flying by. I heard a good, strong heartbeat, which is always reassuring. I've been feeling the little one move around every once in awhile since week 13, and that has been so amazing! It feels just like a gentle brush stroke from a paint brush, just on the inside of your belly instead of the outside :)

Babygirl was there and got to listen to "the baby in her belly" as well. While I think she understands there really isn't a baby in her belly, she still talks about how mommy's belly will get bigger and bigger and bigger, and says hers will too. We're trying to give her some sense of the timing of this, by saying she'll have her birthday and warm weather, then the weather will get colder and we'll have Halloween, then the baby will come. Seems to help her!

So now just four short weeks until we see the little tyke and hopefully know if we're getting a little brother or a little sister!

The Business of Being Born

2010-05-02T20:32:00.002-06:00

Wow, I'm getting out maybe one post a month...that's pretty pathetic people! I'll try to ramp it up. I have millions of thoughts and things I want to share about my sweet babygirl, about my hubby, my work, my life...and then when I get home the last thing I want to do is spend any more time with the darn computer. Seems like that's my biggest issue overall...why I don't spend time on my photography anymore...it's all digital, which means at some point I have to spend time on...you get it...the computer. I stare at the darn thing for 8+ hours a day already. Sometimes I just want a book. Or a movie! (at least it's a different screen)

That was my fancy segue. :) I watched the documentary "The Business of Being Born" a couple of weeks ago and thought it was really well done. Now, I have to preface this by saying I truly don't think Csections are horrible. Neither are drugs to help manage birth. There are reasons for each of those options to be utilized and they can prove very helpful for both mom and baby.

However. They are abused right now. Doctors and hospitals have taken the process of a woman giving birth and turned it into a business. It needs to happen faster, more efficiently and make money. They know if they give you drug A to get your birth moving, you will need drug B in just a matter of time to manage the pain. And once you've taken drug B...well, you need more of drug A or even drug C to jump start the birth again.

In case you don't want to watch an hour and a half of birth stories, I thought I'd share some key interesting tidbits from the movie:

Midwives attend 70% of births in Europe and Japan, in USA 8 %. They also lose less women and children through childbirth than the US.
If you don’t progress fast enough, they push pitocin to get you moving faster so they can get another patient in there. They have actual figures they try to keep you to, which is setting you up for failure. No one woman’s birth is going to be the same as another. In other words, many hospitals actually have a timelimit and if you are not progressing fast enough, they will tell you that you need to take a drug to progress faster.
Since 1996 the cesarian birth rate has risen 46%
Cesarian rate went from 5% to 1 in 4 women in 10 years after the fetal monitor was introduced
In 2005 it was 1 out of every 3
IN NYC the rate is 40=46% depending on the hospital
Women in NYC are scheduling their c section and have a tummy tuck as part of the procedure. Really.
Peaks in cesarian are at 4 pm and 10 pm so doctors can get home at the end of their shift and not have to stay. This is based on a study done in 10 major hospitals over a period of three months.
Huge reason is legal, if you do a c section you aren’t at risk of being sued…you “did everything you needed to do” to "save the baby". You don't have to prove the baby was ever really at risk.
Birthing isn’t an illness, it doesn’t need to be numbed…it is an honor to be experienced
Homebirth costs $3000-4000, a normal vaginal delivery with no medical interventions is $11000 but insurance doesn’t cover homebirth because of the “potential danger”. Really it's that they make a great deal more money on hospital births.
Obstetricians are trained surgeons, isn’t that overkill for a normal birth – something our bodies know how to do?

In the end, it seems we have lost all reverence and respect for the woman's process of birthing. It truly is a natural process and the medical staff should be there to aid the woman, not inhibit her ability to do this on her own. It’s not the place for a woman to be rescued, a place for a woman to be strong .

After watching this movie, I wish I could choose a home birth as an option. I wish my insurance covered it as an option. I called around and because we are in Illinois there are few legal options. There is only one licensed home birth practitioner and they run $5000. My insurance with a hospital birth will run me $2500, I think. that's my annual deductible. So in the end I have no real choice. I can't afford to double my expenses. I just have to trust that my midwives will really stand up for my rights and that I'll be given the chance to do this on my own without intervention.

It's scary because when you're in that moment, if someone tells you that you need to do something "for the baby", well your instinct is to do it. No matter what it is. In retrospect, I know that's what happened with Ellie. I think there were several steps taken in birthing her that I did not need to take...I was pressured to take. And even with midwives there, in the end, they differed to the doctor. They have to, they told me that before hand, but the shame is...they know better. In the end, I think this movie is really well made and sheds light on the way birthing is perceived and handled in the United States. It's at least one thing (in addition to maternity leave) that the European countries have definitely done better than us.

No Impact Man

2010-04-03T20:32:00.000-06:00

If you look on the left sidebar of my blog, there is a listing of blogs I "follow". I pretty much read all of these regularly, at least once a week. One that has been there pretty much since I've had a blog is "No Impact Man". It's an interesting blog, written by a man who took himself, his wife, his dog and his daughter through an experiment of living without an impact for one year. They unplugged from electricity for 6 months, did not buy anything new except food (all produced within 250 miles of their home), they didn't take any mechanized transport (with few exceptions) and learned a great deal about themselves and their environmental footprint.

I just watched the documentary about this, and what I love is that Colin wasn't a diehard environmentalist when this started. It was an experiment, he was also honest that it was a focus for him to write a book...and he was curious how much they could live without. Even more fascinating, is that his wife was almost the opposite of an environmentalist. She was a hardcore consumer. She loved to buy clothes, stuff, loved her coffee in the morning, took cars and trains everywhere, didn't think twice about where things came from or where they went.

And while some of the changes were hard, she was able to adjust surprisingly well to a majority of the change. I think once we break a habit, it often isn't hard anymore...it's that 3-4 week time frame when you're "breaking a habit" that is just painful! I definitely felt that when I stopped drinking caffeine recently. I hadn't admitted to myself that I could possibly be addicted, but jeez...I was. Once she stopped buying things, it seemed like that wasn't as much a "need" for her. Once they started eating locally, her blood work came back much improved (she had precursors to diabetes before the change).

There's a lot this family did that is way over the top and truly unrealistic for anyone, including myself. I would never live without electricity. It is a modern day convenience that is wonderful. However I strive to reduce my use of it and feel I'm relatively successful at that. I still daydream about a house with solar paneling - utilizing that energy for the majority of my home. I think that was a tad more realistic in sunny Colorado, but who knows?

There's a lot I know I do that has an impact, and it is a succession of small changes my family and I have made. We don't buy much, if anything, new. I get "new" books/clothes/etc from craigslist, resale stores, swap websites like "SwapMamas"...I actually find that to be fun! It's a refreshing challenge to think "I want/need XXX" and go find it used and cheaper somewhere. We've used homemade cleaning products for years now. We use laundry detergent that is as close to homemade castile soap/borax combo as you can get. The same 5 gallon tub has lasted us almost 2 years and is only half empty. I have a goal to grow a majority of my own produce someday, and until then will utilize our local farmer's markets as much as possible. I think in all honesty our food consumption is the next focus for me. For a family that doesn't eat a ton of processed foods, we still have a huge bin of recycling each week from packages and containers from the grocery store. I'm proud our garbage is fairly minimal, less than one bag a week, but I believe we can do even better.

In the end, I felt the movie had some inspiring messages:

Without community, none of us feel accountable to anyone else - the best thing you can do, if you will only make one change, is to volunteer with a local environmental organization to reconnect to your community and its needs
The most radical political act there is, is to be an optimist - believing if each of us as an individual changes, we will have an impact
We can create substantially less environmental impact, without adversely affecting our happiness

If you have time someday, I recommend the movie as an interesting 90 minutes. You can also check out the website for some ideas: http://noimpactproject.org/

Losing someone you never knew

2010-04-01T19:30:00.000-06:00

This past week I've felt sad, and unable to understand why. I wrote it off as pregnancy hormones, which is probably quite true. But at the same time there was a nagging feeling of something, some real reason I was down. And I realized...a part of me, some small part of me, felt I should have had a baby this past week. I was due at the end of March.

It's strange to sit here writing this, as I'm ecstatically pregnant for the third time, with what I hope and pray is my second child. I'm incredibly lucky to be pregnant so quickly, and am grateful for every day I wake up nauseous because it means I'm most likely still pregnant. I also know fully well that I lost my second baby for a good reason. Something was probably not right, and our bodies are made to recognize that. I know I was lucky I lost the baby early on, as I've had relatives who have not been as lucky, and I cannot even imagine that pain and loss.

But even in knowing all of this, even though I can look at it through this overly logical and analytical and rational mind...I feel I missed out on knowing someone. On kissing some little toes that I'll never see. I know the baby I would have had went back and has become part of something else. It's hard to put into words my beliefs, it would get too wordy, but I know they are not gone, they are just not mine. And I hope they feel loved, because they are, always.

Babygirl Updates

2010-02-03T11:16:00.007-07:00

Some things I'm loving about our little 2 and a half year old:

She loves to say "maybe"... we ask her a question and she draws it out: Maaaybe yes, Maaaaaaaybe no. It is pretty darn funny.
when she ask for music she'll ask for: "my music" (kids music) or "daddy's music" (classical) there is no mommy's music yet but I'm guessing that will be pop/funk/R&B/etc. :)
Cooking together - we both love it. She loves Henry, the kitchenaid. She'll clamber up the kitchen stool and say "go Henry go!" while we mix something up. We cook or bake together as much as we can!
The way she says goodnight - we drink our juice (water), have "kiss and a hug" then she says "After nap we do crafts 'mommy, daddy and me'". I'm not sure where that started...but now she says it every night.
We recently purchased a mini trampoline both for me to have something to use for cardio at home, and for babygirl to use for energy bursts when she is stuck in the house due to the cold. She loves "being a monkey" swinging and jumping around on it.
Our friend Lindsey gave us a small parachute that babygirl LOVES. We hide under it together, bounce balls on it, pull her around on it...tons of fun with just one toy!
We're starting tap dance classes for 2-4 year olds. She is really into it and love putting her dance shoes on. I think tap dance is just so perfect for this age! Let's her run around and make noise, be around other kids, move and groove to music...it's perfect!
Whenever we put on music by justin roberts - calls him christopher robins. I keep trying to tell her Christopher Robins is from Winnie the Pooh, but she just keeps on calling him Christopher.

This is just such a fun age!

#15 Homemade Deodorant

2010-01-19T14:38:00.003-07:00

I started the life list a few months ago, and only just yesterday posted it on the site. I decided to keep one item I already began back in October. Frankly, I'm still proud that I took the leap to do this, and am delighted with the results! Most commercial deodorants are filled with nasty ingredients. This is a relatively undisputed claim. There is debate over the amount that enters our blood stream, however there is relatively little dispute on the carcinogen factor of some of these common ingredients. And while there are several "green" deodorants out there without these nasty ingredients...they tend to be expensive, not effective and frankly (to me) not worth the cost.

A year ago I stumbled across a recipe for making your own deodorant on a site called Angry Chicken. I was fascinated! And trepidatious. It seemed risky buying these new ingredients and gambling on this working for me. I was also a little leery about making a deodorant, knowing it is not an antiperspirant. Yet in October I took the leap and here I am! Four months later and loving my homemade deodorant. It's easy to use, once you get the hang of having a cream to rub in. The first couple of weeks I had a reaction, however found several other people had that issue too - my body had to adjust to the old chemicals going away and the new ingredients being introduced. I sincerely don't smell, don't have stains on my shirts and find it so easy to use. I think I'm going to try the coconut oil recipe below next (I still have another month with my current batch). I'll let you all know if I like that even better!

There are lots and lots of recipes out there if you want to give this a try! If you live near Chicago, I have the ingredients for the Angry Chicken recipe if you want to try it out...just let me know :)

Life list

2010-01-18T11:43:00.000-07:00

I've hesitated to post this list. This kind of list always felt like a "New Year's Resolution" to me...all too often a waste of energy because there isn't any follow-through. Before you call me a cynic - I'm a big fan of us all having our own "New Year" based on our birthday as opposed to some arbitrary "New Year". I'm also a fan of making personal commitments throughout the year when you are so moved to make one, as opposed to feeling obligated to make one because "everyone is doing it".

Ok, that got off topic. You'll see something new on my site now. A Life List. Something that includes all the hopes and dreams I have for my remaining years...some are incredibly minor and even silly. Some are big, bold and on the edge of unrealistic, however I have hope they will all be crossed off someday! I expect to update it from time to time...

I hesitated to post it, because then I have to act on it. I have to hold myself accountable because it is "out there". But you know what? I need that. I need to be accountable for my dreams coming true...because in the end, that's up to me, right?

Here are some guidelines I found helpful when writing out my life list: imagine yourself actually going through with it, including all the legwork. Imagine as many physical details of the experience as possible. If the thought doesn't fill you with enthusiasm, if it doesn't make your soul grin, it doesn't belong on the list. Would you honestly enjoy reading the entire works of Shakespeare? In reality, few would, and few do.

Newton suggests using the SMART principle in making a life list.

S is for making your goals specific. Instead of saying you want to be healthy, for instance, choose a clear objective that will help you reach that goal, such as making a special effort to eat fruits and vegetables every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday.

M is for making your goals measurable. This serves as a yardstick for results. For example, in aiming for a Mount Everest climb, you'd know you succeeded when you reached the top of the mountain. Or in the goal to become 20 pounds lighter, you'd know you had met your objective when you shed that weight.

A is for making your goals attainable. This is the principle about being realistic. Yet it's also important to choose an objective that is not too easy. If it's too easy, you may lose interest in the goal. If it's too hard, you may give up before you even get started. "Little tiny goals -- taking it step by step to reach a larger goal -- is always a good idea," says Newton.

R is for making goals relevant to you. Some people may yearn to climb Mount Everest or complete a triathlon. Others may be more interested in staying at the world's fanciest five-star hotel or soaking in the mud and waters of the Dead Sea. The goal "has to mean something to you, or the person won't be as motivated to stick with it," says Newton.

T is for time-bound. Make sure goals don't linger forever. Success is more likely when you have an idea when to accomplish the goal and plan baby steps according to the deadline.

Transition Time

2009-09-30T09:19:00.002-06:00

I haven’t written in awhile because I just don’t know what to say. Our lives are changing daily and it’s too much to process in my mind, let alone in words on paper.

You, my dear, are growing up so fast. You speak a mile a minute, and in complete sentences! I can tell you’ve advanced verbally beyond your age and I’m certain it is because we’ve been living with our friends for the last eight months. They have twin three year olds, so you’re surrounded by words, sentences, songs and numbers. You’re keeping up with them like a rock star! You can count 1-10, you try to sing along with the “A,B,Cs”, you love singing your Kindermusik songs and would listen to it daily if you could J, you love to read books and listen to music, you draw circles (which shocked me!) and are trying to master scissors. You love to get down and dirty in the dirt, puddles, play doh, paints, bread dough or cookie dough whatever we give you to explore! You love helping mommy clean the dishes and always want your own rag if I’m dusting or cleaning. If I sweep, you sweep. I love it! You’ve finally said “I Love You” just a week ago and it made my heart swell. I have it saved on my voicemail and wish I could save it in my mind and heart forever!

Our lives are in a bit of lovely chaos, that’s the best way to put it I think. We’re not doing badly by any means, we’re actually quite lucky! But it is chaotic and crazy and stressful all the same. We lived with our friends since the end of Jan and just moved out last weekend. Now we commute from Wisconsin, staying in a co-worker’s “cabin” Fri-Mon, living with friends Mon night – Thurs for three weeks. Then on Oct 18 we are moving into an apartment in Chicago and daddy is flying to Colorado to pack a truck with furniture, dishes, etc. to bring back to the apartment. Meanwhile, most of our stuff in IL is in another friend’s basement (thank you Heather!) with the rest in Wisconsin at our weekend home J. I continue to look at this as an adventure, but it is a roller coaster adventure to be sure!

Last weekend we had a couple of showings and one of them looks promising, if unconventional. We have a woman interested in buying our home, but she can’t buy it for a year and a half. She’s going through a divorce and has to wait until her credit score bounces back and some money she has tied in an annuity matures. She wants to lease to purchase our home. Which is done, but not often. I know this doesn’ t mean much to you right now my little girl, but it’s one of those situations where you wish you could see the future to make the right decision. If this works out, daddy and I have to decide if we’re getting all of our stuff and putting it into storage and continuing to rent, or if we risk it and buy a home (and hope she doesn’t break the lease). There’s a lot of hurdles to jump before this becomes a close to final deal…numbers and contracts have to go back and forth for a little while, but this is a very scary and exciting opportunity!

My hope and goal, through all this transition, is to provide as much routine and family time to you as possible. You have gone through each phase of this move with grace and ease, showing only the mildest of stress in the actual moment of any transition. I think that speaks a lot to your character. I see your patience, your kindness and your sweetness my babygirl and I hope you are able to hold onto those characteristics forever.

Happy Two!

2009-07-04T14:09:00.006-06:00

Dear Babygirl,

How much you've grown and changed in just this last year! Your personality shines through and I am impressed and proud of what a sweet, sunny and funny girl you are. You can be incredibly shy and such a ham. You love your family: Mommy, Daddy, the people Detlefsen, Mr. and Mrs. Detlefsen, Grandma and Grandpa, Grammy, Granny GoGo, Opa, Auntie Jen, Nannie and Papa, Aunt Jen, Uncle Dan, Abbi, Rachel and Noelle...and of course puppy Buddy. You have a pure joy about you that makes me smile every day.

As hard as it is to work full time and be away from you during the day, it then becomes the highlight of my day to come home for dinner and time with you and your daddy. I love the way you greet me when I come in the door, running towards me saying "Mommy home!" with such enthusiasm and hugging my leg if I don't crouch fast enough to catch the hug dead-on. We usually embrace for a few minutes, kissing each other as if we haven't seen one another in days.

I've seen you grow in confidence and character, especially since your daddy has been home with you these last five months. The two of you have grown closer and almost share jokes or secrets now, it is wonderful to see our little girl so close to her daddy. I feel lucky that you have the opportunity!

We love the way you've exploded with words, always asking for new names of things and trying them out in your own way. Some of your fun "Ellie-isms" are: tee too (thank you), nee noo (clean up), peas (please and peas), nnn-nnn (eat or food), eeeee (toothbrush - ours is electric, hence the "eeeee"), uuuuh (vacuum - the sound it makes), ooooooooo (lawn mower - the sound it makes), upum (up, open), by (play), odirt (yogurt), ma ma cheese (mac & cheese), too tee too tee (counting, playing hide and seek), noo-noos (noodles), boat (broke - something is broken), bana (banana) and tate (cake).

With all the transition of this past year, and all that has yet to come, I continue to be amazed at how you handle all the changes with joy and love. You continue to teach me how to be patient and handle life with grace and joy. I love you babygirl. Happy Birthday!

A big day - how fast they grow!

2009-07-04T14:03:00.003-06:00

Yesterday babygirl "peepeed in the potty" for the first real time. She's sat on the potty many a time and definitely shown an interest. Yet yesterday and again this morning she said "peepeepoopoo" (which right now means toilet), I went to sit her down and walla! she just let it go.

Is this a weird thing to write about? As I put it into words, it sounds rather odd! But we're proud :) No rush now, just going to see how it goes the next few weeks with this whole potty thing!

Monkey see Monkey do

2009-06-22T08:00:00.001-06:00

We've lived with our friends and their 3 year old twins for five months now and Babygirl looks up to the twins as her best friends or even as siblings. It is by far the cutest thing I've ever seen. If one of the twins takes one of their "babies" (babydoll or stuffed animal) and puts it in the play cart to push around, Babygirl wants to do that too. If they take their shirt off (which happens with little girls who are 2 or 3 years old!) she does it too. Pretty much it's "Monkey See Monkey Do" at our house!

I love the fact that she has fully embraced the twins and the whole living scenario. She gives them hugs, screams happily when she seems them in the morning and asks about them whenever they're gone. Whenever we are able to move out on our own again I think she will desperately miss them!

But sometimes the imitation is just kind of funny. See example above of all three girls pretending to eat my husband's hair. They thought it was hysterical. The funniest thing ever! If you didn't know what they were doing though, you would have though they were eating bugs out of his hair!

I must remember...

2009-04-17T14:20:00.001-06:00

my daughter's obsessive need/enjoyment of washing her hands and brushing her teeth. She will do this anytime you let her. She looks at you and rubs her hands together, that means she wants to wash her hands.
calling our "roommates" "people"...she'll look at their chairs or hear them coming down the stairs and say "people" all excitedly. She's started to learn their last name and is working on it diligently!
Loving Elmo. I know, I admit it, and wish it weren't so. We watched two Elmo DVDs on our move out here (3 long car rides in a row) and ever since she has loved him. We read his books, we watch his show** (**Only when we're sick or on a long car ride!) and we have one stuffed version of him. Note to grandparents - we do not want any more Elmo though.
Enjoying reading Winnie the Pooh books. We'll pick out a book and shout "pooh!"
singing and waking up in the morning and after nap sing songing away for a half hour or so
lunging for a computer keyboard and punch buttons if anyone will let her. She'll also look at one of us and ask for "mouse", meaning the computer mouse.
going to REI to "play" on the bikes and in the tents
playing with the "beep beeps" (cars and bikes she can ride on) outside and would do it every day if the weather let us! She loves riding around the block
We love fish but don't know how to say fish, so we make a funny bubbling sound with out toungue (I taught her this as the "sound" fish make) At the Aquarium she was so excited, pointed at the tank and shouted out her bubble sound
She knows "Puppy", but for kitty she says "meow meow"
wanting to eat crayons. I completely discourage it, yet it is kind of amusing too
blowing out candles at the end of each meal
reaching for our hands before each meal to say grace and clapping after we say it
playing choo choo on the floor with daddy
saying "mine" and "me" - such as "me potty" or "me juice". It's fun to see her discover her identidy and realize she is an individual separate from mommy or daddy. And as much as we discourage the "mine" when it's said/used negatively, it is also darn cute!
She hasn't figured out how to say food/eat/dinner etc. so she has a sort of sound for it. It sounds like "un un", but it's very distinctive. This sound used to be a replacement for any word she didn't know and has evolved to be her sound for eating or food.

Our holiday weekend

2009-04-13T18:12:00.003-06:00

Under the sea excitement

Aquarium wonder

the joys of our first egg hunt

we hope you had a wonderful holiday too!

Sing along with me: "There's a story...."

2009-04-09T08:05:00.003-06:00

I call our home "The Brady Bunch" these days... it's something I haven't written about yet, not intentionally, I just haven't taken the time to explain. We moved to Chicago in January, while having a house for sale (still is) in Colorado. It is quite challenging, if not impossible on our middle class income, to rent in Chicago while paying a mortgage in Colorado. However, when a job offer came up for me back in December, we had some amazing friends who offered to let us live with them while we made every effort to sell our home.

Let me repeat. These amazing (they must be crazy) friends of ours let us stay in their home with them. While they're living there too! I know. Clearly they didn't know what they were in for :) So our home has two families in it, a mom, dad and babygirl (that's us) and a mom, dad and twin girls (almost 3 - that's our friends). It's a mini-brady bunch!

It has been fun to watch babygirl with the twins. Since they're almost exactly a year older, she clearly looks up to them and tries to do what they do. She'll repeat words, she'll start to play with whatever they're playing with. She'll ask about them if they're not there... she calls them "people" and just this morning tried to say their last name, she said "people det-sen". Not quite right, but she's working on it!

Who is that next to the peas?

2009-04-05T08:17:00.001-06:00

So one amazing relief, that is much larger than I realized, is feeling 100% comfortable. No, make that happy, going to the grocery store again.

Back in Colorado, I dreaded going to the grocery store. For the last six months we lived there, I had this nagging feeling in the back of my mind that I would turn the corner and run into my ex-boss. Either of them. You know, the ones that blamed me for the board of the organization firing them. The ones that decided I was the devil incarnate and they were perfect little angels totally miscast and misunderstood. Oh yeah, those two.

I did run into them, a couple times. And ironically not at the local grocery store where it was incredibly likely! Nope, down the hill, in the ginormous Costco. One of three in easy driving distance of our house.

That is all in the past now as I breeze in and out of the local Whole Foods, Trader Joes or mega mart. I feel a spring in my step and an enjoyment in the process that I've missed. It probably seems silly to you, but I find it to be a sigh of relief. Grazing the aisles in peace.

It's whole or nothing...

2009-04-03T20:57:00.004-06:00

My babygirl is almost 21 months old now and we've "officially weaned". It's been an interesting and slightly challenging process. I knew I would miss nursing her in many ways, I just wasn't sure exactly what it would be like. The time had come since I could tell I wasn't producing much to begin with, and I would get all antsy when she nursed. Other women describe it as feeling itchy and I guess some have actual pain. I just felt like I wanted to get the heck out of there sometimes. So I figured that meant it was about time.

We had no problems reducing to just once a day a month ago or so. However cutting it out completely was painful. Both physically (as I sit here and write I have a hot washcloth trying to stave off mastitis) and emotionally. I truly miss that quiet, intimate time with my daughter. I know it is absolutely expected and normal that she will, and is, pushing me away right now. It makes it at least a little easier for her if I'm not snuggling with her. I totally get that. But it's is like going from 60 back down to 0 for me emotionally. I feel pained at the loss.

The flip side is that this redefinition of our relationship is really healthy, for both of us. I need this slight degree of my personal space and independence back, and she is at a perfect place in her growing up where she is claiming her own independence anyway. I just can't believe my little baby is so grown up.

Sadly sick over here

2009-03-10T09:03:00.002-06:00

Not me, but babygirl. We have our annual bout with croup. At first I thought this was just a teething run, she was feverish and drooly Sat night and just kind of "under" on sunday. Sunday night she was up a little but able to sleep ok, no real coughing yet. But then yesterday hit. That raspy breathing and rattling cough is there and cannot be ignored.

So we wait. We get as much liquid in as we can, we hug, we watch Elmo videos (unfortunately...ugh), we take it easy and we wait it out. Thankfully it only lasts a couple days. Unfortunately those 1-2 days are pretty rough!

A new me

2009-03-02T08:23:00.006-07:00

This past weekend I went with my girlfriend to the gym. This was probably my first time inside a pool or gym for at least six months. I haven't been inside a proper gym in years!

I swam for 35 minutes (no idea how many laps, however I didn't stop swimming except to drink some water) and biked for 30 minutes (11 miles). It felt fabulous. I felt so alive and wonderful! It was such a bonus too, that a woman in the lane next to me asked me how long I had been swimming. She said I looked so natural when I'm swimming. She is relatively new to the "sport" she said. It was very sweet and meant a great deal to me - I've always felt so "at home" when I'm swimming.

So, in the locker room I got into my swimsuit and looked into the mirror. I was absolutely shocked by what I saw. Somehow, in the last couple of months, I have changed shape. I think the stress of the last few months got to me and I only recently realized I was stress eating. I've never done that before. However at work I have been popping the Lindt truffles (see above) like, well, candy. Unfortunately for me, three of these bad boys equals 18 grams of fat and 220 calories! Does it justify my habit that they also have 2 g protein and 4 g Iron? No? Darn. Just checking.

All of this has led me to realize I am going down a slippery slope and I'm putting a halt on the slide. I have no interest in getting too big for my pants or not being able to recognize my waist. I loved the workout this past weekend, so now I just have to figure out how to fit a workout into my schedule, where to do it so it is actually affordable (or free) and motivate myself to do it. As for stress eating, I'm working on handling stress differently, and meanwhile eating raisins or dried mango as my stress food. Seems a little better!

What is beauty

2009-02-25T14:27:00.002-07:00

I know I haven't communicated much here lately, I think about it all the time. I am truly working both ends of the day right now, working full days in the office and often on conference calls or bringing items home in the evenings. It will subside, at some point!

Until then, I offer this short commercial from Dove. I watched it without sound, since I'm at work, however I found this to be a wonderful image for the average woman to feel better about themselves! I watched this woman get made up and her hair done up and I wasn't shocked by it. However when they get into the photoshop section, my jaw dropped. I do photoshop on some of our photos - making better color ratios etc., however I never would have thought to extend my neck! Take a peek

Before and After

2009-02-15T13:10:00.001-07:00

Winter in Colorado, Winter in Chicago. Neither is better, just different!

Day 15: update

2009-02-13T07:42:00.002-07:00

I know, if you could only read my mind you would know what has been going on at work and in my life lately...I've written tons of posts up there in my noggin, believe me!

It has been three weeks of constant adjustments. I told my husband last night, I can't wait to have a day when I come to work and don't hear about something totally new to me that is really negative. Every day there has been a new event run poorly, a new piece of the puzzle that I'm finding out about that is not being done totally "above the table" or just people running things that don't know what they're doing. I don't know if that makes sense without getting into specific examples, however you can imagine that constantly finding out about things gone wrong is not a great uplifting daily experience. On the flip side, there sure are a lot of things I can do to help turn around this organization! As long as I have some supporters and the trust of my employees...so far, that is the case.

This whole move has been interesting so far. I like the fact that a new job allows a person to completely reinvent themselves if they wish. I have been given the opportunity to reconnect with my more positive side as I started this job (believe it or not!...I just happen to vent here, so my apologies to my few readers). I am so much more optimistic and uplifting in the workplace than I was able to be at my old job. That is refreshing for me, and encouraging. When all of these "bad things" surface daily, my response is most typically "we'll figure out how to reinvent that program", or "we'll have to brainstorm ways to fix that"...that sort of thing. I've really embraced and engaged my employees in changing the actual culture of our work environment and I'm trying very hard to empower them to view the organization differently. I hope I am able to be successful. I'm very thankful that I have the full support of our new board, the board president and I are very much on the same page. You can imagine how helpful that is!

My husband seems to be adjusting to his new role as the stay at home daddy. He and babygirl are going to Kindermusik each week. I think it is so great that she has a regular group she gets to see - she so loves being around kids! They have also gone regularly to the local children's museum (only 5 minutes from the house!), local libraries and they have come to have lunch with me once a week for the last two weeks. I'm also trying to find a local swim class that I can do with babygirl on the weekend. That way I have something special I can do with her, and give my husband a break :) He's still working diligently on finding some work on the side, so we hope that will come into play soon. Our current finances won't last without a little more income from somewhere! Unfortunately, his old employer hasn't had need to use him for any projects yet, so that expected income isn't coming through. So keep us in your thoughts, if you have time...

My biggest three challenges right now are: 1) figuring out how to prioritize your work issues when, quite literally, 90% of the organization needs help (i.e. we have no working budget, no employee manual, no committee chairs for some events, etc); 2) making sure I am fully present whenever I am home with my babygirl. I have such limited time with her during the week that I want to be sure I am really there with her when I'm home; 3) figuring out how to give myself downtime. Right now I am at work, with my daughter, with my husband, or sleeping. I need some place to let this all out safely and rejuivenate myself.

So that's the update, at least for now. I know it's not particularly witty or insightful, I have wanted to at least post an update for family and friends wondering if I'm still sane over here in the world of crazy non functioning non profits!

Day 7

2009-02-03T07:21:00.003-07:00

It is now Day 7 of my new job. There has yet to be a day here without drama. Not just, gosh where did we put that file drama, but this employee hates that employee type drama. The "this person isn't worth a thing we should fire them" type drama, "the world is out to get me" type drama. It is ri-dic-u-lous. Did I mention the workplace has less than 10 employees in the office? Right, and two of them are in their 50s and are the prime contenders of the drama. Don't you think they should know better? Or, at the very least, behave with just a tad more personal and professional courtesy and respect. How is it that I, two decades younger, end up being the more mature one?

So yes, new state, new job, new field (again - just cause I'm that crazy). Position of being "in charge" but coming into a place with more baggage that Heathrow Airport. End of last week we all had a very positive meeting with the president of the board where she reiterated what I had started to make clear as well - the past is past. Whatever happened last month, last year, whatever drama happened between two of you. It's done. Sorry, don't want to hear it. Don't care about last spring's issues. We are moving forward. We are creating a new work environment that is positive, where it is safe to bring up valid concerns or conflicts for discussion. Where we move ahead with projects and programs by vetting them with everyone who needs to be involved and making sure everyone is on the same page.

Yet every day, including today already, I am dealing with squashing these little crappy squabbles. Instead of realizing a ball was dropped and working together to resolve it, it seems more important to point fingers and make sure that I know who to blame for the ball dropping. PUHLEASE. Grow the heck up.

So, you may have gathered, either things will change, or I will.
It will be an interesting experiment for now.

Hanging in there

2009-02-02T07:50:00.002-07:00

I have a million thoughts to post and have not had the time or mental capacity to sit down and write. I've been at the new job for a week and it's been one hell of a week. There is a lot of potential, and a long way to go to reach it. So we'll see. The jury is out on this move in general, I'm doing my best to just give it all some time and space so I can let the chips fall where they may.

I'll do my best to fill in more details soon. Just wanted to let any folks out there know we are still here in Chicago, giving this whole scenario a shot!

What a difference 3 weeks makes...

2009-01-25T17:35:00.002-07:00

Three weeks ago today we were coming home from our holiday travels. In three weeks we have both concluded our full time jobs in Colorado, packed up our entire 4 bdrm 3 bath house in Colorado, packed two cars full to the brim and drove three days to Illinois to begin a new chapter in our lives. We both start "new jobs" tomorrow, I start my new full time job outside of the home, my husband begins his new job as the full time stay at home dad, with some part time work for his CO employer thrown in for good measure.

Crazy, you ask? Why yes, yes we are. And tired, and fried, and pushed to our breaking point a bit. We have amazing friends out here who have offered up their home so we have a place to live while we wait for our house to sell. Other wonderful friends had a basket of goodies waiting for us here at the house and came over to help us unload some of our stuff. Others have sent wonderful emails letting us know they can't wait to see us and catch up. The friendship and love feels wonderful, especially as we are both emotionally and physically spent.

Thankfully, babygirl has done remarkably well. She was fabulous in the car, is adjusting really well to her new surroundings and loves the puppy at our friends' place! I think 18 months old is a great time to move with a child...however it is challenging to try to get anything done while she is awake. I think the big official move (once we can actually get our own home) will require a relative or two to help us "babysit" while we do the unpacking and moving. Our pediatrician said that more kids get hurt during moves than any other time - parents are busy/distracted and the kid runs out the door, grabs the box knife etc.... I can totally understand what she was saying now!

Anyhoo. In case you were wondering what was going on, that's the quick and dirty low down. We're here. New time, new place, same folks! Hopefully I'll get grounded and get some more sleep sometime this week and fill you in on the rest. Till then...

I will miss...

2009-01-16T08:42:00.000-07:00

A lot of people wonder how crazy we must be to move from Colorado to Chicago. There are days when I feel the same way, and days when I know we are doing the right thing for ourselves as individuals, and ourselves as a family.

In Colorado, I will miss:

our daughter seeing a fox and calling it a puppy
seeing deer and elk regularly in our yard, on our drive
seeing horses every day as we drive to work and back
the mountains, the trees, the sunshine
my commute - 5 minutes on the highway, never any standstill traffic, never traffic really, surrounded by beautiful scenery
hearing a red tailed hawk while sitting at my work desk typing on the computer
the way we can get tons of snow and have it melt in a day or two
the warmth of winter - you all may not believe me, but combine the 300 days of sunshine with 40-50 degree weather and the dry air, and winter here is rarely cold
our friends Sara, Kevin and their boys, our friends Alex and Azi, my cousin, and my husband's aunt
the quiet, the calm and the serenity of our home and everyday life

I am looking forward to these things I've missed about Chicago:

my friends. I can't wait to have more people nearby who know me, love me, and want to spend time with me and my family!
my family and my husband's family will all be much closer, within a day's drive! A huge difference!!!
good, diverse food: thai, korean, sushi...I can't wait
the lake, I've loved the mountains without a doubt, but I grew up knowing Lake Michigan and look forward to being near it again
having rivers and streams where you can kayak and canoe. I am just not a whitewater kayak girl, maybe in my younger years!
the cubs
the free days at the zoos, the museums, the accessibility to all that amazing culture!

Surrounded by boxes, keeping it straight...

2009-01-15T10:33:00.003-07:00

I've been silent, but not because I have nothing to say. I have too much to say, which typically shuts down my creativity and "voice". I used to keep a journal and always found that the time I probably "needed to write" the most (when I am overwhelmed by something) was likely the time I couldn't get pen to paper.

I am swamped. My husband and I are both working full time through tomorrow, we have friends coming up from Colorado Springs on Sunday night - Mon afternoon, we have a showing of our house on Saturday, we are packing items to take with us to Chicago and packing the rest of the house so it is "ready to move", and we leave on Wednesday for our big car trip (driving separately in 2 cars) out to the Windy City to start a new chapter of our lives there. Oh, and then I start a new job the following Monday. To keep it interesting, I'm also meeting with a woman about selling an invention of ours today and also trying to meet up with a friend tomorrow to say goodbye for now. You know, little stuff.

In actuality, I'm doing ok. Mentally at least. I am queen of the lists, I have a good handle on what is going where, I'm really ahead of the game at work and feel like packing up the house will be realistic and get done. The showing this Saturday is throwing me off just a little, since I want the house to look as clean and sparse as possible, while we are in the midst of packing. Yeah, exactly. Easy task. However, the couple coming to see the house are good prospects and might have a true interest in our home. So you better believe I will do everything in my power to have our house "show" as perfectly as possible! I find this morning though, I'm just plain tired. I could use an extra day to just sleep.

I promise a few more posts before the big move...I have a couple I started weeks ago that I just need to fine tune. If you have the ability, please keep us in your thoughts as we tackle a lot in the coming days!

Happy New Year!

2009-01-06T08:38:00.003-07:00

After traveling to every possible place we could, we are back home and happy as can be! It was wonderful to see family, friends and attend an old friend's wedding (Congrats Becca and Ken!)

Now that we're back, I'm absolutely consumed by the, oh, 15 days until we move to Chicago.
(Cue the screaming and running around in circles in your heads)

We both work 9 of those days, we're squeezing in a trip to Vail to ski with some dear friends and a visit from our other dear friends in Colorado Springs in that time too. Oh! And I'm trying to solidfy someone buying our invention (more on that later I hope) and meeting with our realtor. Right, then there's the packing of the entire house into those items we're taking with us right now in our two vehicles, and packing the rest into boxes for the inevitable day we can actually move. (Please continue to send us positive real estate vibes. We have such a wonderful house and no showings yet...tough time of year and tough market.)

Truthfully, I'm feeling somehow sane, if only my 18 month old daughter would sleep, I think I would be ok. Unfortunately, she has chosen this exact time to go through the 18 month sleep regression which involves waking up and having a heck of a time falling asleep (meaning it takes an hour to and hour and a half for her to actually fall asleep again.) Sigh.

If you're looking for a great way to break your New Year's resolution to eat more sweets, I loved this idea from Mary Poppin's site Homemade chocolate cake in a cup, made within five minutes. Can life get any better?

Here's hoping you had a wonderful holiday and beautiful New Year ahead!

Wishing you and yours a safe and happy holiday!

2008-12-23T20:54:00.001-07:00

I'm taking a small break to enjoy the holidays with family and friends. I'll see you in the New Year!

Sewing update and my own shop!

2008-12-18T12:45:00.003-07:00

Me: 1 vs. Sewing machine: 101 and counting

I actually figured it out! Yeah! Although, once I admit what I was doing wrong, you may stop cheering for me and just shake your head sadly... SO. My upper thread was getting all wrapped up in my bobbin casing. Turns out I wasn't pulling my upper thread under the foot and out the back. I was letting it hang out to the side all haphazardly. I know! Fool that I am. You would never know I took home ec in middle school. (back in the days when they had Home Ec - do they still? somehow I doubt it...) However, I am amazingly excited that I can sew again! Now, just four days to finish the projects for Christmas presents - whooo!

Also, just wanted to point out the lovely little button to your right. See it up there? The one with the beaded jewelry? If you click on that little button it will take you to my brand. new. first time ever. etsy shop. How exciting! Etsy is a place for handmade goodies, supplies and general wonderfulness. If you click over there you will see my shop homepage with a few of my items. You can also click on my favorites to see some other amazing artisans creating wonderful stationary, clothes, accessories, decorations and more!

Fun Tuesday post for you

2008-12-16T08:44:00.002-07:00

Inspiring, or cheesy? I'm not sure, all I know is this video made me laugh and remember some great movies! I hope you enjoy it too.

Happy Birthday to me

2008-12-13T08:00:00.000-07:00

I have yet to fill out a birthday "get to know me" meme, so I thought on my 33rd birthday it was finally time. Here's hoping this is interesting to someone out there! ( found this meme through one of my favorite bloggers...)

5 Jobs I’ve Had
first job: McDonald’s opening shift at 5:3o am
College summers: Interlochen Arts Camp – counselor, office staff, management
College: What didn’t I do?!? Music library staff, cafeteria staff, private teacher and marching band coach…all at once!
First “real” job: University Musical Society, Ann Arbor MI
Now: In transition – still working in non-profits but moving from CO to IL

5 Places I Have Lived
Forty Fort, PN
Hagerstown, MD
Canton, MI
Chicago, IL
Bailey, CO

5 TV Shows I Enjoy
House
How I Met Your Mother
Battlestar Galactica
Top Chef
Scrubs

5 Places I Have Been on Vacation
Alaska
Wyoming
New Mexico
Upper Peninsula of Michigan
Ireland

5 Places I Would Love To Visit
Only 5?!? That’s hard.
Ireland, again
Germany
Egypt
Africa – not sure where exactly
Thailand

5 Websites I Visit Every Day
Yahoo email
Chicago Tribune
Facebook (I try, but often forget)
Mvelopes – our financial management tool
Pinecam (local online forum)

5 Favorite Foods
Again, only 5?!? That’s impossible. It’s my birthday, I might just expand a bit!
Baked goods. Any homemade baked goods. I love muffins, cakes, cookies, brownies…ahhhhh
Dark Chocolate, the darker, the better
Funky cheese. I love a strong stilton, sharp irish cheddar, smooth goat cheese
Homemade bread – I love to make it, love to eat it! Warm from the oven with butter melted on it
Homemade lasagna
A salad with gorgonzola or other blue cheese, pecans, cranberries, pears and drizzled with balsamic vinegar. You can throw in some broiled chicken too if you want!
Sweet potatoes – pretty much any way you make them (except with those funky marshmallow casseroles) I love them!

I'm off to go on a hike with my husband and babygirl followed by brunch at my favorite local restaurant. Here's hoping your day is just as wonderful!

So many goodies!

2008-12-12T11:03:00.006-07:00

I have been the very lucky recipient of two wonderful blog exchanges - one where I exchanged with a blogger, knew who they were, they knew me and we actually emailed a few times before we made/bought gifts and "exchanged". The other, was a "blind" gift - where it was more secret santa style and from another country. You bought or made a gift for one person, and someone entirely different was making/buying something for you.

Both were so amazing and so much fun! The whole experience reminded me of having a pen pal back in elementary school. Being given a total stranger's name, getting to know them and their life...it's really rewarding!

So, creative kismet made me this amazing goody box full of her handmade goodness!A lot of these items she sells in her etsy store, you should absolutely check her out. She made me this beautiful shoulder bag, 3 sparkly and personalized christmas ornaments, some homemade prickly pear jam, notecards, an up-cycled notebook (I love this idea!), potholder, tissue holder, pincushion and an already devoured dark chocolate bar. Can you tell she really got to know me?! She made it all (except the chocolate of course) and it is so lovely!

Then yesterday, I received my secret santa exchange gift from Hungary! (my gift went to a woman in South America). I was so excited - first, because it was from another country which seems so exotic and fun! Second, it's my birthday tomorrow, so how fun to get a surprise box of goodies! This lovely woman, who I have just "met" through this secret exchange, also clearly got to know me and sent some wonderful gifts. Special european soap, chocolate and hot chocolate mix. Her favorite tea (burbon vanilla, yum!), notecards and a hand painted frame. Cute handmade christmas trees and christmas clips, a lavendar sachet and a hand painted hungarian egg.

They both put such thought into their packages and are both such creative women! I am impressed, humbled and inspired. I've already got a million ideas for future gift giving - I think I'm going to start making a list in my new upcycled notebook while I sip on some vanilla burbon tea!

How to wrap up your holidays

2008-12-09T12:00:00.003-07:00

I've been brainstorming how to wrap presents this year without using any gift wrap. There is a wealth of information and ideas out there on how to wrap your present with items you may already have at home, like old newspapers, calendars, even an inside-out (washed) chip bag (now that I wouldn't have thought of!)

For years I have used gift bags, over and over and over...and that is just fine. I have so many I don't ever have to purchase them and the recipient can re-use them as well, which I like. However I love the idea of making fabric gift bags or eventually using "babygirl's art" as wrapping paper. That's something my sister did with my niece's art and it was always a big hit!

Hope you found some good ideas through the links above, and may you have a wonderful time preparing for the holidays!

Snippet from our Nite Nite

2008-12-06T19:14:00.004-07:00

We have a pretty regular routine with babygirl for her "nite nites". We sometimes take a bath, then we have "naked time" (time to run around her room with no diaper - helps with keeping diaper rash at bay), then we get dressed in the PJs, nurse, read books and go to sleep. It's typically a very sweet time and fairly uneventful.

Tonight she totally cracked us both up. We were reading the book: Baby Baby - which I highly recommend if you have a little one - the book has one side with an animal making a face (i.e. yawning) and the other side has a baby making the same face. So cute and funny.

So we're flipping the pages and babygirl is kissing each picture - kiss for the puppy, kiss for the baby, kiss for the caterpillar, kiss for the baby etc. Until we get to the last two pages - she zerberts them! Cracked us right up.

I love this age.

17 Months and climbing

2008-12-04T08:30:00.000-07:00

(this is the family, laying under my in-laws' Christmas tree, looking up at the lights)

Literally! Climbing monkey, that's my little girl. What a riot this age can be... we recently came back from Texas for the holidays and had such a wonderful time. Babygirl has entered this age where she is really starting to "become" her own person, with opinions, needs, desires and her own little voice. While this is, um, frustrating at times; it is also absolutely wonderful!

Some snapshots from babygirl right now:

saying Nee New (clean up), she sings this with me when we clean up after playing
clapping and point to her face when we sing "When you're happy and you know it clap your hands,... your face will surely show it..."
Playing the harmonica - she is so proud that she has figured out how to pick it up and play it anytime, anywhere! So cute!
Saying "bye bye" to everything - bye bye cars (driving by), bye bye crib (in the morning), bye bye toys (when we get up to go to the table for dinner)...you get the drift
Saying "peas" all the time, she's has totally nailed down the Please thing. If you say Please and look cute, people will try to do something for you and smile! This was solidified in Texas with the in-laws. So now I'm trying to help her understand that Please doesn't mean you always get something, I'm trying to say, thank you for asking so nicely, but we don't aren't going to have any more (fill in the blank) right now. But inside I melt and think "of course you can have it!"
Singing "row row row" while mommy and daddy sing "row row row your boat"...she gets those first three words and loves to repeat them over and over!
"helping" prepare dinner every night, we sit on the floor in the kitchen and cut up the vegetables, grate the cheese etc
"helping" empty the silverware tray in the dishwasher - she'll take out each piece and hand it to me (or daddy) to put away
going to sleep so easily, she's in this lovely place right now where she goes down at night without any need for help...just our routine and she goes to sleep. Ahhh, lovely!
her daily attempt to communicate. she still has limited words, maybe 20 that she can say or indicate, so she often gets really frustrated that we're not understanding her, or we do something she isn't asking for...while this isn't always fun, it's so amazing to watch her try to tell us what she is wanting or thinking.
Her joy in learning or discovering something new. She just received a toy bench from my mother-in-law for Christmas and she has loved pounding in the "nails" over and over and over...it is so much fun!

My Arch Nemesis is...

2008-12-03T14:06:00.002-07:00

my sewing machine. Oh how I've tried to make peace with you Brother model XL-3022. It's not your fault, I know. It's me. I am completely inept and somehow tangle your bobbin at every turn. Working with you leaves me beyond frustrated. Truly.

I am a creative person. (really, even though you don't see evidence of that here much). I totally "get" making jewelry, baking, even cooking now has become second nature. Mixing up colors, scents, flavors. You got it! With sewing I "get it" conceptually. I know what I need to do, and yet when I go to actually put my thoughts into action, I am all left thumbs. And between you and me, my left thumb is not so handy!

So what to do? I'm way too far (over an hour) from the nearest JoAnn or Michael's, so going there for help is not going to happen. I actually put a request out this summer in the local online forum for a private tutor, only got one response and that woman was due with her baby in September. I really think I need someone to sit down with me to teach me how to use my machine, so we work together...instead of working against each other like we do now. Every time I get into a project and get excited, I invariably end up frustrated...so to Nancy, Heather and Jen - I swear the little project I'm working on will get done, somehow, by Christmas. And I promise it won't fall apart! (I think)

Anyone else have similar, um, frustrations with a piece of machinery or appliance in your home?

Ah, what's the smell?...

2008-11-30T08:38:00.000-07:00

I was reading this little tidbit the other day and thought you would like to know as well, in case you use any of those air "fresheners" they sell in the stores...

Many commerical air fresheners contain formaldehyde, 1,4 dichlorobenzene and petroleum distillates - these don't actually improve your air. They are chemicals that numb your olfactory nerves or coat your nasal passages with oil. Ew!

This article recommended a HEPA air filter if you have any issues with fresh air. I like to use soy candles or aromotherapy oil diffuser. Both are a lot more natural in the actual scent and the way they infiltrate your air.

Just some food for thought!

SO many reasons to be thankful

2008-11-27T08:08:00.003-07:00

I have so many reasons to be thankful this year, if you'll indulge me, I thought I would post a few here so I can reference them...on those days when feeling thankful is eluding me!

I have a wonderful husband and daughter, (see above making dinner together). They are the joy in my life and I am forever grateful for their love. Coming home and having time with them both is the highlight of my day.
My husband and I both have rewarding jobs. In this day and age, with the economy and job loss rates, this is something to be incredibly thankful for!
Our desire to move is just that, a desire, our choice. We don't have to move because we are in foreclosure or losing our home. We are trying to sell our home and find a new one so we can be closer to family in friends. How wonderful that we have that option open to us!
We have amazing families and friends. No matter how long it is between phone calls, emails or letters - they are always there for us and know we are always there for them. I know folks who do not have this type of support network within their families, and I feel ever so lucky to have such an amazing network of love, support and friendship.
Especially this year, I am grateful for the opportunity to have lived in Colorado, even if it was for a brief 2.5-3 years. Living this intimately with nature has had many rewards and truly helped me focus on my priorities in life. It is because of this time in Colorado that I know how important it is to live closer to my family and my friends. I also know I can make a point to be in nature, no matter where I live. I've realized how much of a priority it is for me to continue living my life at this slower pace, with more time outside. I value that now and am conscious of keeping that value and priority as I move back closer to a major city.

From me and mine, to you and yours - Wishing you a very Happy Thanksgiving!

Inspiring handmade gifts

2008-11-25T10:32:00.003-07:00

I've had every intention of pointing you all to several other sites recently, and neglected in actually getting those links posted, until now!

Over at Sew Mama Sew, they are posting groups of handmade holiday ideas with fun themes, such as: "Gifts for the Whimsical", "Gifts for Grandparents", "Gifts for multitaskers" etc. Even if you don't think of yourself as crafty or creative, you might find some good ideas here!

Over at "Not Martha" there are some fun ideas - I have a feeling my husband is going to want me to come up with a use for the bacon bowls. Seriously. Can you even imagine how happy those would make him?

If you have several kids and can embroider, this idea is absolutely beautiful, simple and a real keepsake! For my daughter's grandparents - you better betcha you'll be seeing this in a few years when she has a sibling!

Lastly, if you have kids a little older than my babygirl, you might be looking for gift ideas they can make! This list is phenomenal. In general, the Crafty Crow always seems to have great kid activity and craft ideas!

I hope this inspires you to explore some creativity of your own! I've actually fit a little time in for some creating, however I can't post photos quite yet (they are gifts for some folks who actually read this site!) Stay tuned...

Follow up on the Upick farm in Colorado

2008-11-24T11:45:00.003-07:00

The Upick farm made the local news and CNN for their amazing generosity in allowing 40,000 (!!!) people come out and pick produce for free this last weekend. I emailed Dave (the guy in the interview) about donating to support their work and they responded with this:

"Dave here. There is no need for donations. Please donate to your favorite chartiy in our name if you must, and thank you for your support of our farm. We were blessed to be able to give out so much GOOD stuff to so many!May God Bless you and yours this holiday season,Sincerely,Dave/The Miller Family"

What an amazing and inspiring day to have been a part of - may you and yours be as blessed and lucky as well!

Wonderful Weekend

2008-11-23T20:34:00.007-07:00

What an amazing weekend! We went to a local U-Pick farm with our friends Sara, Kevin, Alex and Ben. The farm was having a free for all day - you could pick up to 10 bags of onions, carrots, beets and potatoes...all for free! I think the weather here has been so mild they had more produce than they could handle.

So here's babygirl exploring the land of white onions:Helping pick the potatoes out of the dirt:

And having a ball!

Quite possibly the best weekend I've had in a long time. It was great to be home with my husband and my babygirl and enjoy being outside! Hope you all had an equally wonderful weekend...

Oh, and 60# russet and red potatoes and 20# white, gold and red onions. My friends probably got 80# potatoes, 40# onions and 20# carrots! Whew.

Still here

2008-11-19T15:01:00.002-07:00

My apologies for the delay in posting - I had the best of intentions for setting up posts to roll out while I was out of town, and yet, best laid intentions... etc etc Suffice it to say, Obama was my lead story for quite some time!

I'm excited to finally be able to speak openly about a big decision my husband and I made:to move back to the Chicago area in 2009. We made this decision quite some time ago, however we only just told our employers and friends out here in Colorado. On the offchance that someone reads this blog from my work, I thought it best to not say anything until now.

So the house is listed, and has received zero viewings. Not a shock since we live quite a ways off the beaten path, but still disheartening. Please send great house viewing vibes when you can!

We're currently very open ended on when this move will happen with the thoughts of sometime spring/summer 2009. We need either the house to sell, or one (both ideally) of us to have a job before the move can actually happen.

I have had a million things to share lately and no time to share them with all the work travel of late. I promise to get back into my routine and post more soon! Thanks for sticking with me.

What an amazing change already

2008-11-05T09:21:00.002-07:00

Do you feel it? Did you feel the complete change this morning when you woke up and looked outside? I'm not talking about the snow after having 70deg days, I'm talking about the virtual weight lifted off of our shoulders. The sigh of relief, the rush of joy, the tear streaming down your face as you realize the last eight years are finally over.

No matter who you voted for yesterday, I hope you feel a bit of the hope and joy and jubilation that I feel today. I am excited for this country and the next four (hopefully eight) years. I look forward to seeing where this leads and what changes can occur. I'm not believing blindly that one person can make it all better. He will make mistakes, he will have incredibly difficult challenges to face, yet I do believe he is the right person to take us through this challenging time and lead us into a better, more hopeful future.

I was reading another blogger who said she turned to a friend last night and said: "Our children – they’re going to grow up during the Obama years." It made me cry all over again. I can't think of a better gift to give my daughter, or a better story to tell her of the changes that took place when she was only one year old. How proud I am of our country today.

Fun with numbers

2008-11-04T15:50:00.000-07:00

Do you have any odd quirky number associations? You know, lucky number 7, or maybe it's 13? I definitely have some odd number things in my life that my husband would definitely say are "quirky", if not downright odd. Growing up, I would always read the time on a digital clock and immediately (without thinking about it, truly!) divide it down. So, if it is 4:12, I immediately think 1:03. If it's 12:52, I see and think 3:13. That would make me happy, because 3:13 reads the same forwards and backwards, a palindrome. Yes, I know, totally dorky. My name is Susan and I am an absolute nerd.

So, I'm coming up on my 33rd birthday, and I have to say, I'm excited! What a great year! It only happens once a decade that your birthday year is a palindrome. How fabulous. So I've decided that this is going to be a great year for me. How could it not be?! Besides, half of what happens in our lives depends on our outlook, so what could the harm be in deciding it is going to be a fantastic year based on the fact that my birthday is a palindrome. Right? Right.

I'd love to hear about any fun or funky number associations you have! Maybe you can share something to help me feel less "odd"!

Halloween at the library

2008-11-03T11:46:00.004-07:00

So, in the end, we decided to take babygirl to the local library where they gave out books. Perfect for an almost 16 month old! She was also given some candy, which she proceeded to "crinkle" (she liked the way the wrapper made fun noises - didn't actually eat the candy). I was happy to be able to do something for Halloween, and I love the library. Plus, she got a bite of "daddy's cookie" and a sip of his punch (they has some "treats" for the parents too). And that was such a hit!

So it was, in its own sweet way, perfect.

Bloggy Giveaway winner!

2008-10-31T12:01:00.001-06:00

Congratulations to Kristan, chosen by random.org, who said...
"I loved the mealtime ritual post. seems mealtime is nothing but chaos and thrown food here!"
I've emailed you to coordinate getting this necklace to you as soon as possible.

Thanks to everyone who entered for this giveaway, I hope you had great luck with any other contests you may have entered. Your encouraging words about the necklace have convinced me that I can actually keep creating and maybe even sell some jewelry down the road! Please keep an eye out for future giveaways and hopefully a future Etsy shop where I'll sell some of my jewelry! Thanks again for participating and hope to see you around here again soon.

Happy Halloween!

Happy Halloween!

2008-10-31T07:34:00.000-06:00

How strange and in a way sad for me to not have more to say about Halloween this year. It is by far my favorite holiday, and yet around here, it is severly downplayed. No one really decorates their home because you just don't get "trick or treaters" in the mountains! Houses are too far apart and frequently they are second homes, so no one is there in October. The only real option I've found for babygirl is to drive to the local businesses - they are posting a map of all participating places where you can "trick or treat". But driving? Really?! These businesses are miles apart from one another. Totally crazy. There are some other cute options around, like visiting a local farm, but almost everything is taking place on Friday during the day. Bummer for the parents who both work full time.

But we do still have our great day care! You can see our babygirl there in the dumbo costume, looking totally unsure of what is going on.
Regardless of our small and simple Halloween - I would definitely encourage you all to check out some of my favorite bloggers (on the left) who have fabulous ideas for home decorating and treat giving!

Premade breakfast idea

2008-10-30T08:00:00.001-06:00

I've meant to post on this for quite awhile now - for those moms who need more time in their day! I tried my hand at pre-making breakfast burritos and froze them to have on hand whenever needed. There are far too many mornings where we are busy/running late/out of time and I grab breakfast to eat when I get to the office. (I know, I know, not ideal!) But hey, at least I eat breakfast!

So these burritos were fantastic! Tasty, didn't get soggy or gross in the freeze/reheat place and you can vary them to whatever tastes you have.

Freezer Breakfast Burritos

cook up some sausage/meet/soy meat etc - set aside
scramble and cook up some eggs, add meat back in once eggs are cooked.
Add in any other "extras": salsa, shredded cheese, finely chopped veggies etc. and stir to combine
Take tortillas and fill with a few scoops of the filling (whatever you think is a normal "portion size" for you
Roll up, place onto a cookie sheet and repeat
Once the cookie sheet is full, set it into the freezer for an hour or so (for the burritos to firm up)
Then take burritos and place into freezer bags or tupperwares for easy grab and go!
Reheat is a quick 5-10 min in the toaster oven (or 1-2 min in the microwave)

Amazing sunset

2008-10-29T08:00:00.000-06:00

Sometimes I don't question why I'm here in Colorado...a sight like this one is just breathtaking and peaceful. I hope it inspires you as it did for me!

ELF minerals on sale!

2008-10-28T13:16:00.001-06:00

A few people have been interested in the ELF make-up website. I thought you might like to know that for today only all E.L.F. minerals are 50% off! Just use EGMINERALC as a code when you check out!

My first giveaway!!

2008-10-27T08:00:00.001-06:00

Welcome! I'm so excited to participate in the Bloggy Giveaways Quarterly Carnival. You definitely should click on the link to check out the amazing list of other bloggers and their cool and unique giveaways! The contests last all this week.

So, onto my giveaway... this is a necklace I actually made a long time ago and have never found the right person to give it to. So now it might be you! The necklace has small sterling silver beads (up at the top of the photo), followed by Onyx, Thailand silver and Zoisite beads.

The center pendant is from the Karen tribe in Thailand. The four Karen words carved around the center of this soul pendant translate as earth, water, air, and fire. The traditional writing system of the Karen people is becoming a dying art as the younger generation turn to more modernized and internationally accepted styles. I highly recommend Shiana's website if you are a beader and looking for this type of unique piece!

To win: post a comment on the blog with your name, valid email and let me know what other post on this blog you've enjoyed and why. Since it's my first giveaway I want to know who is out there and what you enjoy reading!

Winner will be drawn by random on Friday, October 31st at noon. Thanks, and good luck!

Seeking balance

2008-10-24T08:00:00.000-06:00

Do you ever have times when your identity is in question? I know who I am in “standard definitions”. There are “categories” for me to easily use and distinguish myself or use to relate to others. I am a full time WOHM (work outside of the home mother). I am a wife. I am an employee and a manager of staff. I crave simplicity in a life that is currently far too complicated.

I am working to figure out how to fit “me” back into my life and I haven’t come up with any great solutions on this yet. My days are so scheduled; life is so full with “things to do” that I cannot process how to incorporate bits of time for me. The only time that seems available is an hour to hour and a half window at the end of every day. But this is when I: straighten up the house, catch up on personal email, do laundry, catch up with my husband, prepare grocery/dinner plans, catch up with friends or family via the phone… when am I supposed to do things like yoga, sewing, crafting, taking a walk or even writing my blog?

I think the critical piece here is, when do I catch up with me? And, how do I recreate the definition of me, beyond all the external definions I have "placed" on me?

I know there are those of you who might suggest getting up earlier…and this is always a possibility. Certainly yoga is best for me as a beginning and end of the day thing. However, I already wake up at 5:45 and immediately get going to be ready to leave the house (have babygirl up, nursed, ready to go as well as myself) by 6:45.

How do you balance all the factors in your life? I’m wide open to any suggestions you might have!

Colorado update

2008-10-23T14:36:00.001-06:00

It's been awhile since I've posted much about living in the Rocky Mountains - the odd and lovely things that have become the "norm" of my life these last two and a half years.

I drive my trash to the dump. Sounds benign, however it encompasses so much more. To have trash picked up costs $20/month, but we only produce one can a month which costs $3 at the dump…so we drive our can to the dump. No biggie, except you then have a car, with month old trash inside. Oh, yes, indeed. It means you drive with all the windows down and the heat cranked up for 20 minutes until you arrive at the dump! As crazy as it may sound, it is totally worth saving $17/month!

Our friendly neighborhood bear. I remember back in the beginning how amazed and scared I was of our neighborhood black bear. The sound he made was unfamiliar (a snorting, snuffing sound) and his size and shape astounded me! (He’s easily 300 lbs, give or take a few). Well, we’ve had him appear on average once a week (if you’re wondering why, see item #1 about trash sitting in our can for a month!) and I’m mostly unfazed any more. The other night I heard him, Jim wasn’t home, so I turned on the light, opened the door and scared him off. Just matter of fact like that! He’s all of, maybe 5 feet away from me, and it doesn’t even make me blink. Somehow compared to the crazies I would see in Chicago, the bear isn’t all that scary!
http://what-lies-within-us.blogspot.com/2006/05/wildlife-at-our-door-or-at-least-at.html

The hummingbirds. Gosh, I love the hummingbirds. We have two feeders and they just go crazy morning, noon, and night. I love how we can sit on the deck and hear them buzz overhead…and watch them land on various trees around us.

The peace and quiet.

Mealtime rituals

2008-10-23T12:09:00.002-06:00

We've created a mealtime ritual, which for us takes place every morning and evening (since we both work full time). We light candles at the dining room table. It seems so simple, and yet for babygirl it has become such a crucial piece of our mealtime ritual. I think we started doing this once or twice as a way of distracting her, during her squirmy phase...but it was so peaceful and nice, we just kept it on.

It is also a wonderful way for me to remember my Grandma, as most of the candles we currently own were once hers. We inherited them when she passed, and I always remember how nice she set the table for every meal with candles and a silk flower arrangement in the center.

Now part of the ritual has become babygirl helping one of us put the candles out at the end of the meal. I love how this just highlights the fact the mealtime is really family time. No distractions, no TV trays, only records playing in the background, candles lit in the center and family all around.

I promise to keep playing with my point and shoot until I get a better photo!

This past weekend

2008-10-22T12:05:00.005-06:00

This past weekend my babygirl and I met up with some friends at a local "kids carnival" at the elementary school. It was entirely free and featured about 30 booths from local public health offices, fire stations, children's music schools, preschools etc. There was all sorts of great activities happening for two hours! Free books, make your own trail mix, a bouncy castle, a fire truck...it was really great. I was so pleasantly surprised that it was all free. It was also a good way to find out about several resources in my community.

I've already connected with the "host" to find out how they funded it so I can help make this sort of thing happen more often. It's such a great idea! If you're interested in knowing how they pulled it off, let me know and i'll send you any information I gather.

Cheap but doesn't feel that way

2008-10-18T08:10:00.001-06:00

I've meant to write about ELF makeup for weeks now. No, this is not make-up for Santa's little helpers. It's a website called Eyes Lips Face (ELF) and it consists of high quality make-up for incredible prices. Most items cost a dollar. Yup, you read that right! Nailpolish? Oh, that's a dollar. (and even free of all the nasty stuff in most nailpolishes: Toluene, Formaldehyde, and Dibutyl Phthalate ) Mascara, another dollar. Blush...eyeshadow...a dollar...you get the picture. Crazy!

Some items are a bit more expensive, such as the mineral make-up I purchased a month ago and now wear pretty much every day. For those that don't know me, I am so absolutely not a make-up person. However, after having babygirl, I started to feel...well...old. I felt that I looked old and worn out. I finally got sick of feeling that way and decided that a little bit of blush and powder helped a great deal - so that's all I do. The mineral make-up goes on easily and I don't even know it's there. Thanks Nancy for pointing out this great company!

Feeling the Love

2008-10-17T08:07:00.003-06:00

Thank you! I had so many visitors the other day when I posted about the giveaway and the most comments I’ve ever had. I felt so loved – thank you so much!

I wanted to let everyone know of a great book out there – Listening is an Act of Love. It’s a compilation of stories from the Storycorps project through NPR. The Storycorps project is an amazing one, it provides anyone the opportunity to sit down with a loved one inside an enclosed sound booth and “interview” them. You may have heard them on This American Life on Fridays...they are beautiful stories, insightful, personal, funny, touching, heart wrenching...and this book captures a great sampling of them all. I highly recommend picking it up at your local library!

Also - just a note - for a working mom like me, it's the perfect book. Each story is 3-4 pages so I can typically read an entire story in one sitting before getting interrupted! Amazing.

My name is Susan, and I have...

2008-10-14T07:43:00.006-06:00

serious camera envy. Is it safe to admit that out here in the ether? When we were at Yellowstone earlier this summer, I had some serious camera envy. Everyone there had their crazy zoom lens attached to their $2000 digital SLR camera. Every time I saw one I cried a little inside.

Is that so bad?

Don't take me the wrong way now, I have a fantastic digital camera for every day point and shoot. (thanks mom and dad!) It does such a great job with high quality every day photos...but when I want to do a super close up shot or play with the aperture or lighting, it somehow doesn't seem to come close to a real SLR camera. So I look, I see the Nikon D40, D60 or D80 and I sigh. Is it worth saving up $600+ dollars? I have to admit, I think so. However with our Subaru in the shop needing a new engine, and "life" always finding new ways we need to spend money...a want like this slips by the wayside, for now.

So I ask of anyone reading this out there - what camera would you buy if money were no object? Have you borrowed one from a friend and loved it? Used your neighbor's and hated it? I need to know, so that the one day my obsession gets the better of me I actually buy the "right" one!

All day giveaway

2008-10-14T07:36:00.003-06:00

If you have a blog of your own, you may want to go check out The Secret is in the Sauce. They are hosting a giveaway all day long, a new giveaway every hour! Seems like a fun way to spend a Tuesday. Best of luck to anyone who enters!

I have to admit, one of the things I'm enjoying the most right now is "discovering" new blogs. There is such a wealth of information/opinion/ideas/creativity out there - it's fun to connect with people all across the world and learn from each and every one of them.

And my last random segue - for all those who lurk on my site and never comment (and I know you're there - I have a way of seeing who is here and where you come from)...please don't be shy about commenting. I would love to hear your thoughts or even dialogue through comments. Just think, if you comment, someone else might see it and be brave enough to comment too! Just a thought :)

Happy Tuesday!

15 months

2008-10-12T07:10:00.000-06:00

Everyone says time flies when you have a child. I never underestimated or doubted their statement. It is incredibly hard to believe that just a year ago I went back to work after almost three months home with my babygirl. In that brief year, so much happened for her! She is just over 15 months old and is worlds away from the little baby she was back then.

For my own (admittedly poor) memory's sake, I thought I'd jot down the"words" she's saying right now and how they sound when she says them.

Beep Beep (for cars/trucks etc)

Eye (pointing at an eye in a book, on a doll or on us)

Boom (when she falls or bangs on something)

bye or byebye

nite nite (for naps and sleep)

dada/daddy

mama

kitty (dih dee)

Zane (nane) - he's a boy at daycare

Keet (keee) - also a boy at daycare

thank you (ahkoo)

Banana (nanna)

Baby

Meow (more singing or inflection than actual words)

Good Day (ooo ay, as in ooo ay keeee)

then in sign language we have "more" and "all done"

It's absolutely amazing how quickly words are developing for her now. She clearly understands most of what we say and is starting to imitate us more and more. What a fun time!

The beauty of something ugly

2008-10-11T08:00:00.000-06:00

The Mountain Pine Beetle here in Colorado is considered a tragic situation by most Coloradans. When you drive north of here, you see mountainsides completely transformed with brown, dead pine trees. It is an epidemic, and without getting into the "environmental" causes and effects, it is something that will continue to plague the state over the next decade or so. However, in the end, it will likely have the same result as a fire - rehabilitation and rebirth of healthy forests.

When I was out in the forest a few weeks ago, I came upon a tree in the process of dying from the beetle attacks, and found it to be a strange but beautiful sight. It was almost as if the tree was weeping. Is it wrong to find something decidedly tragic, as something so beautiful?

Back to the theme of "tiny matters"

2008-10-10T13:07:00.007-06:00

My apologies. I just reviewed my last month or so of posts and realized I've had a rather negative spin on things. It could be the current economic situation, the election hubbub...or it could be because we are working through a lot at home right now, with some major decisions to make on the horizon. I've wanted to blog about all of that for quite some time, however there is the potential of folks reading this who don't know what is going on, and honestly, it is not appropriate for them to know anything quite yet. So I apologize for sounding so vague and mysterious, and for the fact that my personal life has perhaps gotten me off track here online.

So with that, I want to present you with an update on babygirl. Unbelievably, she turned 15 months old this week! She still has the front teeth moving on in (2 top, 2 bottom) and now has 2 molars in on the top. I really feel for kiddos - what a difficult thing to experience over and over (and over and over again). However, either there's something in the water here, or we are just downright lucky - she takes all the teething in stride. We often don't know something is happening until we feel them in her mouth!

Here she is, breaking in two molars:

So I can definitely take a lesson from my daughter here. No matter what "pains" you might be dealing with, you can still get out and appreciate the opportunity to run around in the sun. Here's hoping your weekend is filled with lots of time running around outside!

The heat is on...

2008-10-09T08:21:00.000-06:00

Yes, we finally broke down and turned our heat on this past Sunday. Our temperature gauge in the house would come up to 60 by the time we left in the morning. I love sleeping when it's cool, but it was downright cold! Evenings now are in the low to mid 30s, even though it can (and does) get to the mid 70s during the day...

Aspens turned gold two to three weeks ago and are just now starting to lose their leaves. I absolutely love the cool crisp air, however I am not ready for the snow and frost that is to come. I'm trying my hand at preserving some of the Aspen leaves this year so I can "hold on" to Autumn just a little longer - how are you all preserving your Fall?

Please don’t be gone forever

2008-10-08T11:30:00.000-06:00

Our Subaru is currently dead and I am in mourning. There was something wrong that caused our oil to leak, there was also something wrong that caused our temperature gauge to not tell us that the engine was getting hot. We were clueless until the car literally stopped running on Friday on the way home. We’re told now the engine seized due to no oil. Like, at all. None.

That’s not supposed to happen. It also most likely means we need a new engine, we’ll know for sure today.

This is the used car we bought just a year ago and still have a loan we pay monthly…so now we debate the value of investing in a “new” used engine or just letting it go – and paying a monthly fee for…nothing? It’s a tough call and we still don’t know what we’re doing. Wish us luck as we figure out this puzzle of a pickle!

Debates

2008-10-03T09:25:00.005-06:00

I had forgotten how much I absolutely hate the election debates. I watch them. Because I feel I should. I don't want to be in the dark as to what everyone else witnessed the night before. But truly, the debates are more about twisting the other party's words/record/policies around to sound bad than they are about truly answering any questions or getting into the nitty gritty of how a candidate will truly do what they say they plan to do. They become more about "how did X present themselves", "did X sound/look/seem presidential/vicepresidential"...they play into more of our media hyped culture than people care to admit.

I wish there was going to be a televised town meeting, like there was with Kerry and Bush four years ago. Questions came from the audience - unrehearsed, no time to "research" their answers, they had to know their stuff and answer off the cuff. As it should be, if you ask me. I recall that experience highlighted for me how inadequate Bush was in knowing his subjects and having concrete answers. Although, look how that didn't change anything four years ago.

In the end, people seem to hear what they want to hear...if you're already leaning one way, you hear how they "succeeded" in the debate and the other party "failed to deliver". (at least that's what all of the talking heads are doing this morning. It's disheartening. Because truly, as it was four years ago, there is one president/vicepresident ticket that is clearly more qualified for the office than the other. And the fact that this isn't clear to others makes me so sad.

Why Phosphate Free?

2008-10-01T13:56:00.003-06:00

So I intentionally incorporated a lot of "green" methods into my life many years ago...cleaning with baking soda and vinegar, using phosphate free detergents, recycling everything humanly possible, bringing my own bags and not taking the produce bags at the grocery store...and yet whenever someone asks me "why not heat up plastics", "why can't I use plastics with # 3,6, or 7", "why use a detergent that's phosphate free?"...I almost always blank on the answer.

I end up feeling like an idiot, however with the multitude of things I end up keeping track of (my full time job, planning our family meals, managing the household, managing my daughter's daily needs for daycare and "remembering" things for my husband like his schedule etc) I somehow don't retain "extra" information the way I used to.

So, for those of you who have asked me why we should use phosphate free detergents (and I blanked at the time)- here's your basic answer:

Phosphates in laundry detergents easily find their way into waterways where they promote algae growth. This flourishing plant life consumes the oxygen in the water, leaving none for other plants and animal life. Changing to phosphate free dish and laundry detergents is an easy way to help out the quality of our drinking water, oceans and streams. You can read more here .

Personally, I highly recommend Charlie's Soap for the laundry. It cleans just as well (or better) than the stuff you get in the store. It has worked great on our cloth diapers too! As crazy as it seems - we bought the 5 gal bucket a year ago - and even though it seems crazy to spend $140 on laundry detergent, we're not even half way through the bucket! Maybe a third of the way through, so that $140 will last us through 2 1/2 to 3 years of laundry. In the end, that's a steal of a deal!

Children's book rant

2008-09-25T07:55:00.000-06:00

I have an admission to make: I love children's books. I go to the local used book store and used baby store and rarely walk out of there without a book or two. Granted, part of the appeal is that I'm getting books often for 25 cents. That's certainly appealing!

However. I have come to really despise the "color themed" books...I want to write one myself at this point! My issue is that they have two pages devoted to all the basic colors - and they pick the most obscure things to showcase that color!

Examples, you ask? I will happily oblige. (these are from several books, so it's not just one book that is this odd and abstract). Pink hairbrush (really? Mine is brown), purple lizard (I'm curious, where is their habitat?), red coat (how arbitrary is that? How about red apple, red strawberries, red bird?), orange book (wow, I don't even think we have one of those..., how about orange fruit, orange fish, orange juice). Well, you get the idea.

I just wish they would use items that really are that color most of the time...I guess when you read them umpteen times, things like that start to grate on you just a little! :)

Summer scene

2008-09-23T09:10:00.005-06:00

There is a valley we drive every day on our way to and from work. It is absolutely stunning in every season so I've decided, this year, to try to get a good photo from the same spot in each season. This is the summer photo (I know, I sort of forgot to post this awhile back). Taken in the beginning of August, 2008. Beautiful, isn't it?!

Fall is here and the Aspens are changing, so that photo should be coming shortly!

Do you use a nightlight?

2008-09-23T09:06:00.004-06:00

Or rather, does your child? I'm curious to know if this is a consistent thing among my friends... Up until last night, we never used a nightlight with babygirl. She slept in a dark room and it was not an issue, especially since it was still so bright as she fell asleep. However, since we've been back from our trip to WY she has had a heck of a time falling asleep! I am theorizing this has to do with the transition from pre-trip (going to bed around 7 it was still light out) to post-trip (shockingly, in a mere week, not so light out anymore as she goes down). I think it's dark and scary and she can't relax to fall asleep.

Am I projecting this onto her? Can a 15 month old think that it's too dark and scary to fall asleep? I don't know. Last night I tested my theory by keeping her sound machine uncovered so it emitted it's blue glow in the room. She fell asleep much easier than the past couple of weeks. But she still woke up at 12:45 (what?! why?!!!) and resisted getting back down.

It is such the eternal struggle, isn't it?! Sleep will be great for a month or two, and then something (teething, a trip, visitors, etc) happens to shake things up and make it all haywire again for a few weeks. Sigh. I'm tired!

Babyshower

2008-09-19T16:16:00.003-06:00

I've seen posts today about a virtual babyshower for two lovely ladies I don't even know and will likely never meet. However I love the idea and thought I'd participate! As part of the "shower" they are allowing all of us to participate in a giveaway - pretty exciting actually!

Anyone can participate - we're just supposed to write about our favorite moments of that "new baby" time. Sounds like a fun and easy Friday afternoon post...

I remember the first few days with babygirl just staring at her. I was in awe, and shock (and a little fear). I kept thinking "it's so nice to finally meet you" and wondering how in the world she got from inside to laying there on the couch in front of me. (I'll spare you those details!) It wasn't that I didn't remember, it is simply so awe inspiring to think only "X" days earlier she had been inside of me. Surreal really.

I love the new baby smell. There's definitely nothing like it in the world. And in babygirl's case, I'll always remember what we lovingly called her "elephant legs". Unbeknownst to us, she had the cord wrapped around her a few times and had started to actually lose weight inside. She was absolutely fine, thank goodness, however it gave her skin this loose quality and it hung on her legs, sort of like elephant wrinkles. It probably sounds strange to those that weren't there, however I remember it quite fondly. It always reminds me of what a miracle it is to have a beautiful, happy, healthy baby. It helps me remember how absolutely lucky I am.

All the best to Rebecca and Kristin - may you both be blessed with happy and healthy babies and may your transition from inside to the outside be as easy as possible!

Please help protect our children

2008-09-16T09:53:00.003-06:00

I was home yesterday trying to recover from a cold that literally knocked me on my keister this weekend. One of the fun things I get to do when I'm home sick is to a) have the house to myself (fun!!!) b)relax and watch some shows I enjoy (Good Morning America, Ellen...) and c)sleep. It's typically a wonderful time, what with being sick and all.

Yesterday was no different, with the exception of Oprah. I flipped her show on since I was sitting relaxing and needed to take a little more time for myself. I flipped her on without "previewing" the subject matter on the TV guide channel. I sat there, for about 30 seconds, horrified before I hastily switched the channel. I greatly appreciate her desire to put on a show regarding child abuse on the internet. However, the 30 seconds I ran into, was so horrific and involved "instructions on how to abuse your 0+ year old" that were found online. No kidding. I still tear up and get angry when I think about what she was saying in those brief moments.

This has remained on my mind as I got up this morning and led me to verify with our daycare that she is the only person who ever watches our daughter and changes her diaper. She is. I knew that, but felt better verifying it for myself again.

It also led me to Oprah's website this morning, where I found out the purpose of the show was likely to lead people to speak up and help pass the Senate Bill "Protect Our Children Act". Please take this seriously and take a moment to email/call/contact your senators and spread the word on this need. I was, and am, appalled at what is available online and how frequently these photos and words are tagged by the government, but then immediately reloaded somewhere else. It is ridiculous we don't have better management of the content on the internet.

There is an enormous difference between free speech and posting illegal photos and content. Please help.

Inspiring Interview

2008-09-09T08:01:00.005-06:00

I stumbled across an inspiring interview with Wendell Berry, someone I was entirely unfamiliar with, however based on this interview will likely read some of his books. He covers everything from local food economy, to war, to religion and faith. In particular, I appreciate his views on community and childhood, they are similar to what I had hoped to find in moving to the country. I hope you enjoy this little gem!

Camping with your toddler

2008-09-09T08:00:00.002-06:00

As promised, here are my "pointers" if you're looking to camp with your older baby or young toddler. Hopefully there is something useful here for you!

TOYS/ENTERTAINMENT

•Have one or two “surprise toys” for the long car ride back home – by then all the other toys you’ve brought with you are old and boring.
• Bring a list of songs to sing, if you’re like me, you totally blank on any kid songs “in the moment” when you need a “filler” in the car or on a hike. Having a cheat sheet of sorts has helped me a few times!
• Don’t care about your child getting dirty. They love it; you can relax and enjoy their pure pleasure in getting dirty and exploring. Worry about getting them all clean when you get back.
• Bring sand toys with you; they are perfect for rocks, dirt, pinecones and, of course, sand.

COMFORT
• If your child uses a white noise machine at home, bring it for the tent. I think this helped babygirl immensely when we had “neighbors” staying up and chatting.
• Also, if your child has music on for nap time or if that helps, bring the disk for the car ride…again, I think this helped babygirl transition in the car into a nap.
• Always research a back up plan (hotels) wherever you will be. At least having a list of phone numbers is helpful. After five days of cold (some snow even!) we broke down and got a room. It helped to have some of the numbers we needed to figure out where to go!

FOOD
• Bring as many snacks and variables of snacks as you can imagine…berries (esp. blueberries) will hold up for awhile, bananas, crackers, etc.
• Have a couple “back-up meals” for the kiddo – I admit, I broke down and purchased a couple of Gerber’s graduates first meals… I hate spending money on anything like that, but it helped on one occasion when she needed to eat and had no interest in what we were eating; the other time we needed to keep driving and she needed to eat right now!

HIKING
• Hiking with baby/toddler isn’t as hard as it seems if you have a decent kid backpack (with sun shield). Just be open on how long it takes, don’t be too focused on a “destination” and remain flexible. Babygirl took a couple naps in the backpack, also needed to get out and “hike” on her own a couple of times to stretch her legs etc. Just remember – they aren’t moving around, so they are more apt to get cold – layers of pants and jackets help a lot for them to be comfortable!
• As silly as it seems, I wished I had invested in some hiking type shoes for babygirl. I didn’t, because it seemed like a total waste of money, but the shoes we had just weren’t cutting it by day 3. Definitely have tie-up (sneaker) type shoes…they give a bit more support!

GEAR
• Make sure your tent gives you enough room for you, baby and the stuff. We are lucky that we found a tent many years ago on clearance at Target. Coleman has several great family sized tents too – at first it feels strange if you were used to backpack-sized tents (like we were) but it is worth it to be able to stand up in your tent and fit a pack-n-play and still move around!
• Bring a second option for everything – we had two spoons (good thing, I could only find one the entire time!) two sippy cups, two dishes, two pairs of shoes, two hats etc. That way if you can’t find one…you always have the other somewhere!
• Don’t bother with a tent heater unless you have a pop-up camper. Tents are permeable and heat rises, while it probably cut down on the condensation in the morning inside the tent; it did nothing for the cold.
• Invest in a good pair of long underwear (not cotton) for the kiddo and bring a good winter hat. The only thing we didn’t have (and should have) was a pair of mittens for her when hiking.
• Sun hat with a chin strap is crucial.
• Have double the amount of socks for your kiddo that you think you’ll need. It’s not about them getting wet – it’s about them getting so dirty you can’t bear to put them on their feet!
• At least two pairs of shoes, so when one is wet/muddy the other is dry.
• Extra baby wipes are great for everything – spilled food/drink in the car, spot cleaning for baby/mom/dad in lieu of a bath etc.
• You can’t have too many blankets with you for a)blocking sunlight in the car or pack n play; b) snuggling with in the car; c)laying down on the ground for a picnic; d)covering up and keeping warm at night; e) setting up a “fake wall” in your hotel room so the baby is sort of separated from the room; f)all of the above.

A breath of fresh air...

2008-09-08T15:21:00.002-06:00

We just got back from a week away and I am feeling more relaxed and happy than I have in such a long time. I realized we don’t really get “vacations” in a traditional sense – it’s usually travel to see family and friends. Absolutely wonderful to do, I wouldn’t trade that for the world, but it is very different than a vacation where you travel to relax/enjoy/rejuvenate etc. Our trip was partly for my work, and partly personal vacation. We traveled to the Wind River Mountain Range in Wyoming, then Yellowstone, then Teton National Park, then home.

It was five nights of camping followed by two nights of “hotel” rooms – and it was wonderful! Babygirl did quite well considering it was freezing most nights (literally – we had snow two mornings!) and this was our first time camping with her ever. We had the best of intentions in doing a “trial run” in our yard, but time this summer has flown and our good intentions just flew out the window. So we did this cold turkey. Call us crazy, naïve or stupid – but we were lucky enough to have it all work out! (I’ll have a separate post on my personal suggestions for camping with your toddler.)

The scenery was breathtaking. If you haven’t been, go. Or figure out how to go. It’s definitely worth seeing the Tetons and Yellowstone. The mountains are fabulous, the wildlife is everywhere and they really enable campers to have a great camping experience with lots of amenities, good maps and good staff. We were on a volunteer work project in Yellowstone, so it was a little bit of a different experience for us – however I can vouch for the thoroughness of the National Park Service and their campsites.

We saw: bison (lots of bison), a white wolf, a coyote, a baby and mama moose, lots of deer and elk, hawks and some enormous bird’s nest that had to be for an osprey or bald eagle. Very cool. There was some hiking, lots of playing in the dirt, some throwing of rocks into the water and lots of enjoying ourselves. All-in-all a wonderful week!

A great Sunday night

2008-08-26T13:21:00.000-06:00

My husband has been playing in a local volunteer community orchestra for the last month and this past Sunday was the final concert. It was early enough in the evening that I decided to take babygirl to “hear her first concert” outside in the park. I only wish I had brought my camera to capture her joy at so many “firsts”!

She saw her first kid (really lots of them) riding bicycles
She slid down her first slide
She played on her first (real) playground (we’ve been to swingsets and some base stuff – but this thing was huge – the real deal)
She watched some older kids and adults play basketball
She met lots of doggies
She met lots of people
She tried to pick up ants, far too many ants
She listened to her first orchestra concerts (pops music) and actually noticed the musicians on the stage for about 10 seconds

Best of all, her daddy got to look out at the audience and see his sweet babygirl, having a great time while he played music!

Farmstand Corn Fritters

2008-08-23T14:01:00.002-06:00

All I can say is - these are completely and totally worth it! They are a little time intensive, however after eating them, I wouldn't think twice about the time it takes!

1 1/2 lbs fresh corn (2 lg or 3 md) with husks and silks removed
1 lg egg, beaten lightly
3 tbsp flour
3 tbsp cornmeal
2 tbsp heavy cream
1 small shallot minced (I didn't have, but I bet it would add something!)
1/2 tsp salt
pinch cayenne (I did more like 1/2 tsp and it was goooood!)
1/2 c corn or veg oil

1. Using chef's knife, cut kernels from 1-2 ears corn and put in bowl (about 1 c whole kernels)
2. Grate kernels from remaining 1-2 ears of corn in large hole of box grater (about 1/2 c grated kernels) into same bowl
3. Using back of knife, scrape any remaining pulp from all cobs into bowl.
4. stir in egg, flour, cornmeal, cream, shallot, salt and cayenne
5. Heat oil in large heavy bottomed non stick (we used cast iron) skillet until shimmering. Drop mixture by 6 heaping tablespoonfuls (maybe a 1/3 c measure would work well). Fry until golden brown, about 1 min per side. Transfer to plate lined with paper towels. If necessary, add more oil and heat, fry remaining batter.
serve immediately

Also from Cook's Country, Aug/Sept 2005, page 13

Fabulous Whiskey Pork Chops

2008-08-22T08:49:00.003-06:00

This recipe is very much worth making - it sounds complicated, but isn't too bad. We made these with corn fritters (recipe coming soon!) and devoured everything!!! Great with a green salad or green beans...

1/2 c Jack Daniel's whiskey
1/2 c apple cider
2 tbs brown sugar
1 tbs dijon mustard
1/8 tsp cayenne
1/2 tsp vanilla
4 tsp cider vinegar
4 bone-in pork chops (about 1 in thick)
2 tsp veg oil
salt pepper
1 tbsp butter

1. Whisk whiskey, cider, br sugar, mustard, caryenne, vanilla and 2 tsp vinegar together in a bowl.
2. Transfer 1/4 c of this mixture to a plastic bag, add chops, press air out and seal. turn to coat and refrig for 1-2 hours. Save rest of marinade seperately.
3. Remove chops from bag, pat dry and discard that marinade. Heat oil in lg skillet until beginning to smoke. Season chops with salt and pepper and cook until browned on both sides, peek into thickest part of chop to see still-pink meat 1/4 inch from surface. (About 3-4 minutes per side) transfer to plate and cover with foil.
4. Add reserved whiskey mixture to skillet and bring to boil, scraping up any browned bits with spoon. cook and reduce to thick glaze (3-5 min). reduce heat, add remaining 2 tsp vinegar, whisk in butter, simmer until thick (2-3 min) and remove pan from heat.
5. Return chops to skillet and let rest in pan until sauce clings to chops, turning to coat both sides and meat shows 145 deg on thermometer (about 5 min)

YUM!
from cook's country magazine, aug/sept 2005, pg 13

A real vacation

2008-08-08T11:16:00.003-06:00

I am so excited! My husband and I have finally gotten the A-OK from our respective work places to go away to Yellowstone. Technically this is a work trip for me, however we're extending it on the front and back ends to include time for our family. It will be our first time camping in two years (last year I had babygirl in July, and while I almost camped at 7 months...I backed out. either I got smart or chickened out, depending on your persepective!)

So, back to the current plans. We are going at the end of August, hitting the Southern Winds of Wyoming on the way up, spending four days in Yellowstone National Park on a volunteer project and then coming back down through the Grand Teton National Park. I am beyond excited. We rarely get to vacation without the sole purpose being to see family or friends (which is lovely, don't get me wrong) and I've never been to Wyoming.

We will be taking babygirl with us on this grand adventure and are hoping the camping goes ok. I'm doing all sorts of research and finding lots of helpful tips and hints from fellow campers. After the adventure I'll be sure to post any tips that worked well for us and anything that perhaps did not go so well!

My big small world

2008-08-07T09:13:00.004-06:00

In the last 13 months, I have found a time of day that is my absolute favorite time. I treasure the 15-30 minutes every morning when I go into babygirl's room to nurse her. It's still dark, she is so happy and peaceful after sleeping well all night and she is anxious to snuggle and ease into her day.

For that brief moment in time the world is as big and small as that one room. Nothing else exists for me. It's just babygirl, me, and an overstuffed recliner. She will make little happy sounds, sometimes she'll play with my face - touching my hair, my nose, my eyes - sometimes she'll just lay there relatively peacefully, nursing.

The rest of the day she's a whirlwind of "talking", walking and pointing. The world is her oyster and she continues to discover new and exciting things every day. Nursing during the day, or even in the evening sometimes is filled with movement and distractions... I continue to cherish this one time when I can just be consumed by my love for her and feel like the luckiest mom in the world.

"what have I been doing?!"

2008-08-07T09:03:00.003-06:00

I know, I've been absent lately. Consumed in my thoughts and life, as it were. Lots of thinking happening lately about lots of major life decisions, all of which will come out in due time. But not quite yet, at least not this publicly.

In the meantime, I have been actually "doing" some things! My garden is coming along nicely. Outside (I forgot to take a picture of the garden fortress - but will do so soon!) I have beets, cantaloupe, carrots, arugula, lettuce, spinach and potatoes. I also have tomatoes outside technically, but under a shelter of a sort (protecting from hail and strong winds). Inside I have basil and I am VERY proud to say, peppers and eggplant! This is my first time growing either one, and they both are doing so well in their little self watering containers (which I HIGHLY recommend. As an aside - the self watering thing is fabulous and I think I will eventually upgrade every single pot I own to one of these magical wonders. I don't have to think about watering my plants except for once a week! What will they think of next...)

Anyway. Thought you'd like to revel in the magical mystery of my first pepper ever!

How do you measure success?

2008-07-25T12:52:00.002-06:00

Every job I've ever had has the same challenge in place - how do you measure "success" when your true job is to open minds, create opportunities, engage people in something they've perhaps never seen/done/experienced before. On a personal, purely human level, success is truly when a person has that "ah ha" moment where they "get it". Whether it's been music, dance, theater, hiking, etc. - if they suddenly understand why it is important or have a new interest in it - that is success, to me.

However, this is not a real measurable phenomenom. Grants, foundations, even those same every day folks who just "got it" want to see numbers. How many people came to the event, how many people joined as members, how many people donated... Those numbers tell one part of the truth, but never the true impact of an event.

This is all on my mind since last weekend, we had our biggest event of the year at work. It's an enormous undertaking, and one that we almost cancelled due to the turmoil of the past few months. However, the staff felt this was critical to make happen and I am so delighted we did.

To me, this event was by far the biggest success we have ever had in its history. It was successful because of the impact we clearly had on those who participated, it was successful because of the immense interest clearly demostrated by the increased walk through from the locals, and it was successful since we (for the first time ever) broke even on the event. Phew! However, the participant numbers were lower than in past years. So how do I convince board members and donors that lower numbers does not equal unsuccessful event? The challenge on how to do that effectively continues on. I welcome your thoughts!

Cloth Diapers vs. disposable

2008-07-17T12:33:00.002-06:00

I'm swamped at work with a huge event this weekend, so I'm "cheating" by pointing you to someone else's post...however, I think it's a good one. We are cloth diapering babygirl, with the occasional disposable when traveling. (Because, it just seems rude, not to mention a pain to wash diapers at someone's house!)

So, check out No Impact Man's post on the benefits of cloth diapering...you may just become a convert yet!

One word "meme"

2008-07-15T08:04:00.003-06:00

I read this new meme this morning on Mary's site, while I wasn't tagged (mary doesn't tag)...I thought it seemed interesting and a good way to get my brain moving this morning. (in case you're still waking up too - the idea is to answer each question with just one word)

1. Where is your cell phone? Unknown
2. Your significant other? Husband (I don't put his name up here)
3. Your hair? Brownish
4. Your mother? Mom
5. Your father? Dad :)
6. Your favorite thing? Husband
7. Your dream last night? Yes
8. Your favorite drink? Wine
9. Your dream/goal? SAHM
10. The room you’re in? Work
11.Your hobby? Creativeness
12. Your fear? Inadequacy
13. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Home
14. What you’re not? Patient
15. Muffins? absolutely
16. One of your wish list items? ipod
17. Where you grew up? Michigan
18. The last thing you did? cleaned
19. What are you wearing? capris
20. Favorite gadget? kitchenaid
21. Your pets? none
22. Your computer? mac
23. Your mood? decent
24. Missing someone? Yes
25. Your car? subaru
26. Something you’re not wearing? sweater
27. Favorite store? bookstores
28. Like someone? Yes
29. Your favorite color? orange
30. When is the last time you laughed? lastnight
31. Last time you cried? 2weeks ago

Every morning...

2008-07-14T09:08:00.002-06:00

it is the strongest I've ever been and yet the weakest I've ever felt to have to leave this sweet face at daycare and go to work.

I cherish every moment I have home with her.

Happy Birthday Babygirl!

2008-07-08T09:51:00.003-06:00

Today you are one, and I am reliving the past year and amazed at how much you've grown into this little person in front of me. I've kept a list of some of your funnier, sweeter traits throughout the last year, and while I'm not going to post the entire list here, I thought I'd share some of my "favorite" things from the past year.

• The way you sing while you eat because you are just that happy
• The way you adore avocado
• How you suddenly sat up one day, as if you always knew how to do it
• Sitting with you on the yellow striped couch every morning talking about the trees, the birds, the items in the living room and you would hang on my every word
• The first time you griped the wooden rattle and hit yourself in the head, you looked so surprised by it!
• Your singing – especially the few times you’ve woken up at 5 am and just happily laid in your crib with your sweet little sing-song voice
• At 7 months how you start laughing when dad or I walk in the room like it’s just such a great thing
• How much you love it when I run away from you and then run towards you singing “doo doo doo…” we’ve been doing this since 5 or 6 months old, and at a year old you still love it
• Our “special time” in the car to and from work every day
• “Kissing” picture in books (really almost licking them)
• Clapping and squealing when the stereo is turned on
• Touching mama’s nose, eyes, mouth while nursing
• How excited you get when you saw a hummingbird fly up to the feeder
• Snuggling in close at night, resting your head on my shoulder or chest and beginning to relax and get ready to go to bed

My love for you is beyond anything I've ever known or experienced. I am grateful for how patient you have been with me this past year as I learn to be your mom. It is my greatest joy.

Visit to family

2008-06-27T19:42:00.006-06:00

This past week we were able to go visit my family out east and finally introduce babygirl to my grandmother. My husband and I worked hard to make this trip happen and the time with my family meant the world to me. I know babygirl will likely not remember my grandmother except through photos and stories, so that made this all the more worthwhile.

Besides seeing my grandmother for the first time, babygirl also met her first ducks..and she loved them! She pretty much loves all animals it seems.

We also were able to see my sister and her beautiful family. Babygirl loved being around her cousins and highlighted for me how much I miss my family, and by extention my friends who are like family.
It was a whirlwind trip filled with full days of travel (I'll probably write another entry about traveling with a one year old! 7 hours in a car...10 hours through two airports, two airplanes and literally a two minute time frame from getting off one plane, running through the airport and getting on the second plane. I was a wreck and babygirl was great!) After all of that, it's good to be back in one place for a little while!

Last weekend

2008-06-19T14:25:00.003-06:00

(I've had this post "in progress" for four days now...wow how time flies!)
Last weekend we:
finished the garden "cage" to protect potential veggies from the plethora of animals surrounding our house

took lovely naps outside in the sun and breeze

almost finished new shelves in our guest bath

and prepared to be out of town for a bit visiting family.
Here's hoping your weekend coming up is equally productive and relaxing!

Tiny Matters

2008-06-11T08:25:00.003-06:00

I decided to rename my blog this morning...still inspired by Emerson's quote, but naming the blog "tiny matters". I thought this has such a lovely intention.

To me, it is the small things that often matter the most, such as my daughter meeting her first horse this past weekend.

I hope my blog can serve as inspiration for the tiny things that matter for my family, and hopefully matter for you as well. Happy Wednesday everyone!

On a lighter note

2008-06-10T11:55:00.002-06:00

I feel guilty leaving you all with my sad story and nothing lighter to help you have a happy day. So here's my babygirl eating (and loving) blueberries.

And here she is with my ingenious (and tall) husband - who "invented" these sticks for her to hold onto while she learns to walk. This way he doesn't have to bend over and break his poor 6'5'' back! Clever man, that husband of mine.

Sad story

2008-06-10T10:55:00.004-06:00

The photo was taken this past weekend - we had a sweet mama robin with a great little nest on our porch (the one with the grill - for those that know our house). Jim and I have been lovingly staying away from the porch, for the most part, over the last few weeks since the mama and papa made their nest. If we had to go out, we would talk to her from the doorway and warn her that we were coming. Then this last weekend, I heard the faint chirping of a wee one, and lo and behold - there were three babies! I was so incredibly excited...

Unfortunately, a raccoon in the neighborhood was tempted up to our porch about a week ago and tore into our grill cover (but didn't find the mama then). I was so relieved she was safe and didn't think anything of it again...but I'm guessing the same raccoon came back Sunday night, must have heard the babies or something - because yesterday the nest was on the deck and the babies were all gone. I was devastated. Probably more than I "should be" for these birds.

But somehow, maybe because I'm a mama now, I couldn't help but imagine how this took place for the mama bird. Seeing this predator coming, knowing there was nothing she could do for her babies...hopefully flying away to save herself, but knowing what that meant for the babies. How heartbreaking and tragic. They had just come out of their eggs days ago! I'm still sort of reeling from it all. I know the event feels more tragic than it really is, and probably is tapping into emotions I'm having on a much larger scale with babygirl's first birthday coming up etc. But folks, I am deeply sad.

My sweet hubby consoled me and went online to find out how we can build a "robin's safe nest" for next year. Apparently, they often roost in the same place year after year - although I don't know if they would choose to come back to a place where this happened?...if anyone has experience with this, please let me know. However, I think he has a good idea for building this wooden frame and putting it over a glass door so there is no way for any predator (other than another bird) to get to the nest.

So, enjoy the sweet photo, even though it ends up being a bittersweet one. Weren't they just so cute and vulnerable?!? Sigh. I hope the mama is ok.

And the world stood by in wonder...

2008-06-04T08:31:00.002-06:00

I admit it up front - I am a fan of Barack Obama. However, no matter your political beliefs, you must agree that last night was momentous. A mere 45 years after Martin Luther King Jr led the March on Washington and "had a Dream..." we have a presidential nominee who is African American.

I know it's not about that really, at least not for me, but it is wonderful all the same. I continue to have hope and faith in our country and its people. The next few months should be fascinating!